California Girl. Arizona Boy. A Lifetime of Summer.

2011 Wrapped Up

2012-01-13T08:41:00.016-07:00

I know this type of post should've been posted a few weeks ago. But in light of end-of-the-year events in my life, it was put off until right now.

So, here's a quick look at my 2011.

In May, I had the amazing opportunity to go to France with my sister, my aunt, and my aunt's friend. It has always been my dream to go, and I finally did! It was fantastic, beautiful, awe-inspiring, and life-changing. Sounds dramatic, but it really was magical.

We started out in Paris and then ended up in Nice. Here are some of my favorite photos from the trip:

We just arrived at our hotel in Paris. Well, we did reapply our makeup; it was a rough flight.

At the very top of the Eiffel Tower. Scary and amazing.

The golden gate at Versailles. The gold was so bright that it hurt my eyes to look at it.

The Hall of Mirrors inside the Palace of Versailles.

The gardens behind the palace.

Nice, France. Look at those vibrant colors!

In June, Jose and I celebrated our one-year wedding anniversary!

In August, I finally graduated with my master's degree.

In October, I started my freelance writing business and got a few steady clients!

In November, I was offered an adjunct teaching position with Rio Salado College.

In November/December, I was admitted to the hospital for a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. No pictures for this one. :)

All in all, it was a great year. I had wonderful adventures and achieved many life-long dreams. I feel that many amazing things will happen in 2012, and I can't wait to find out what they will be!

Professor Jimenez...Yes, Please!

2012-01-03T10:09:00.003-07:00

My faculty profile has just been published on the Rio Salado blog, and I'd like to share it!

It's weird to see my name as Professor Jimenez, but it's awesome.

http://riosaladocreativewriting.blogspot.com/2011/12/faculty-profile-meet-charlene-jimenez.html

Word!

A Little Good News

2011-12-28T08:52:00.002-07:00

Because of everything that has happened to me in the last four weeks, some good news has been pushed aside. So, I thought I'd share some of it so you don't all think I'm depressed and angry all of the time.

The day before my body imploded, I had an interview with Rio Salado College, a local community college. I interviewed and was offered a position as an adjunct instructor. Starting January 9th, I'll be teaching an online creative writing class, if students actually sign up for it.

So, if you know of anyone looking to take a creative writing class online, send them my way.

I'm excited for this new experience!

A Sky the Color of Sludge

2011-12-19T12:09:00.002-07:00

Nearly three weeks ago, I experienced something terrible, depressing, painful, and life-changing. It was a typical Wednesday morning. I was getting out of the shower and I flipped my head so I could wrap my wet hair in my dry towel. When I flipped my head back up, I immediately felt pain in my groin area. I thought I might have tweaked something, so I tried to stretch a little. It only got worse. I decided to lay on my bed for a while, just to give whatever was going on in my body a rest. The pain began to rise to my pelvis. Then to my stomach. Then to my ribs. I could hardly breathe and I started to sweat and feel extremely overheated. I had hoped it would relieve itself, but it only became more angry and volatile.

After about twenty-five minutes, I decided to call my husband at school. He raced home so he could take me to the hospital. He had to dress me while I cried. He helped me stand and I immediately had to lay back down. I was dizzy and felt that I was going to vomit. Once I regained my composure, we headed to the hospital. On the way to the hospital, I semi-blacked out. I could hear what Jose was saying to me, but I couldn't make my body respond. I was just so tired. All I wanted to do was close my eyes and sleep. Jose had to grab my hair and shake my head to keep me awake.

We finally made it to the hospital, after hitting every red light on the way, and they put me in a wheelchair. After them asking me question after question for the paperwork, they finally took me into a room. I don't remember how I got from the wheelchair to the hospital bed, as I must have blacked out, but I ended up undressed and in a gown. Nurses were everywhere, and I just sat there with my eyes closed, wanting to sleep. My stomach and chest were distended and puffed-out.

After a urine test--with the delightful help of a catheter--they told me that I was pregnant, about six weeks along. Next, I had to get an ultrasound and a vaginal probe. The latter being the most painful of the two. I thought I could not experience something more painful than the probe. It made me scream every time she moved it inside of me. Through those tests, they discovered that I had a ectopic pregnancy, meaning the fertilized egg latched onto the inside of my tube instead of inside the uterus.

They discovered that my stomach cavity were filling up with blood, as my tube had ruptured and it would not clot on its own. And that's why my stomach and chest were distended. The blood loss is what caused me to black out and become unresponsive.

I was in that room for a total of about four hours before I was taken to surgery. I felt every bump of the cart as they took me to the OR. Once inside the OR, I was met with the most pain I've ever felt in my life when they rolled me on my side and moved me onto the operating table. In that moment, I told God to end my life. I knew I was dying. I could feel it. I wanted all the pain to stop. I wanted relief. I wanted to die.

It's scary to think of the clarity of that moment, the moment I didn't care about anything other than being free from the pain my body was experiencing.

I remember screaming "NO!" over and over again because of the pain as the nurses hurried around me. The anesthesiologist put a mask on my face and told me to take deep breaths. It only took a few breaths to knock me out, but it felt like that release would never come.

I woke up to the sound of crying, but I couldn't quite open my eyes yet. I could hear talking and machines beeping. When I finally could open my eyes, I realized that it hadn't all been a terrible dream, as it felt like. It was real.

Everything was surreal, and I'm sure that was the anesthesia talking. I looked to find the source of the weeping, and it was coming from a girl about my age. She was laying with her back to me, curled in the fetal position. She was surrounded by nurses and doctors and they finally closed the curtain around her so she had some privacy. I overheard the nurses say that she had her wisdom teeth removed a while ago and the sockets were infected.

Four and a half hours after I went in for surgery, I was wheeled into my hospital room. The first person I saw was my beautiful husband. Then I saw a few of my brother-in-laws and a sister-in-law. And that's when the healing process of my body began.

The surgeon came by later to tell me that I had three blood transfusions during surgery because I lost pretty much all of my blood pre-surgery. Three pints of blood had been in my stomach area and they had to suction it all out. They had to remove my left tube because of the rupture, and I obviously lost the baby. But I lived. I guess that's the important part. I survived.

I was in the hospital for nearly four days and I had a total of four blood transfusions--three during surgery and one the day that I was released. I couldn't go to the bathroom by myself, shower by myself, get out of bed by myself, or even pick things up by myself. Because of the constant fluids through an IV, my body was swollen and puffy. The back of my hands looked like half a grapefruit sitting on top. I had to be spoon-fed for the first few meals because I couldn't even grasp a spoon.

The days and weeks since have been full of pain, tears, anger, resentment, and emotional solitude. But it has also brought me and my husband closer. And as of now, that is the only silver lining I see in a sky the color of sludge.

I'm Angry

2011-12-15T12:05:00.003-07:00

I'm angry that everyone else can get pregnant and have perfectly normal and healthy pregnancies, over and over again.

I'm angry at them for having perfect little lives that everyone congratulates them on.

I'm angry that more people didn't reach out to me.

I'm angry at the little couple with the baby that sat behind us at Ihop, laughing and smiling and playing peek-a-boo.

I'm angry that I'm broken and bruised--my body and my spirit.

I'm angry that my baby isn't growing in me right now.

I'm angry that my baby is dead somewhere, along with my left tube.

I'm angry that a part of my body is now hollow and empty and that a body part is missing and that it will always be missing.

I'm angry that I had to relearn how to go to the bathroom by myself, shower by myself, and get in and out of bed by myself.

I'm angry that I'll heal physically in a few months, but never heal emotionally.

I'm angry that I nearly died and that it was completely out of my control.

I'm angry that God chose me to go through this.

I'm angry that this has broken my faith.

I'm angry that Jose's faith has been shaken.

I'm angry that I didn't even know I was pregnant until I was bleeding to death in the hospital.

I'm angry that my husband blames himself instead of God.

I'm angry at God.

I'm angry with life.

I'm angry with myself.

I'm angry.

My First Column!

2011-10-25T17:27:00.005-07:00

Just a little update on my freelance business.

I've ghostwritten several articles for AGBeat.com--a real estate, technology, and business website. And they've offered me a regular column with a byline, which means my name will be on the articles I write from here on out. I'm now an Assignment Writer and considered part of the staff! How cool is that!?

Check out my author profile!

New Website

2011-08-25T16:57:00.001-07:00

Now that I'm done with school, it's time to really focus on my freelance writing and editing career, as well as my publishing career.

A while ago I created my Belles Lettres Literary Services website, and now I've created a more personal one. CharleneJimenez.com details my education and experience in writing and editing.

So, if you know of anyone who needs a freelance or contract writer or editor, send them my way.

I Finally Did it! Three Years in the Making

2011-08-23T14:46:00.002-07:00

I have officially graduated! I did it! I am now have my master's. It took three years, and I'm glad I'm done. Now on to bigger and better things!

New Running Widget

2011-07-19T07:05:00.000-07:00

If you haven't noticed, I love me a widget! I just added a new one to the top of the blog, a running widget. With my sis-in-law, Sarah, we've started running twice a week. Let me just say that I'm an awful runner, always have been. It's painful and I have no endurance, but I'm working on it. So, my goal is to be able to run five miles without stopping. I'm a long way from my goal, but last night was only my third time running this year, and I'm happy to report that I'm actually improving, and I love that part of it!

Last night I went running with my hubby at the local track and I was able to run two laps without stopping. I know that's pathetic, but it's so much better than how I was doing. One day I'll be able to run those 20 laps and keep building from there. Not only will I lose weight, one of my life goals is to run in some marathons. This will get me there. I'm excited.

I'm going running again tonight! Wish me luck!

Oh, The Secrets of Watermelon

2011-07-15T07:37:00.001-07:00

My lovely sis-in-law is getting married in August, and last night we threw her a bridal shower. I was in charge of bringing the fruit and the fruit dip.

When we were buying the fruit, my hubby picked out the biggest watermelon he could find--a whole 30 pounds. 30 pounds, I say! Then he picked up another one of the same size and put it in the cart. Our entire store visit I tried to talk him out of buying 60 pounds of watermelon for the party, and he wasn't sure there would be enough for 30-40 girls, alongside bananas, apples, and strawberries. I eventually convinced him and he warned me that if we had to go buy another watermelon, I'd be in trouble. I agreed.

Last night, before the party, Jose cut up half the watermelon and it filled a HUGE Tupperware bowl to the top. He asked if he should cut the rest, but I assured him that it was plenty. Again, he wasn't sure that I was right. He thought we needed to slice the entire 30 pounds. And here is how the rest of the conversation went down.

Me: "Honey, I really don't think we need more watermelon than that. It should be plenty. Trust me."

Hubby: "Are you sure?"

Me: "Yes! That whole bowl is full!"

Hubby: "But some of the women might be on their periods..."

Me: "...uhhhhh. What does watermelon have to do with periods!?"

Hubby: "I don't know. I thought they ate more..."

Who knew that there was such a strong correlation between watermelon and menstrual periods?

A Difficult Decision...

2011-06-26T21:28:00.001-07:00

While I wouldn't consider this the hardest decision that I've ever faced, I'm having a little trouble with it.

My husband gave me some options.

I can either go to Colorado for my graduation

OR

Go to Disneyland.

My mind goes back and forth, as I can see the pros and benefits of each decision.

No matter which choice I choose, we will be gone from Thursday to possibly Monday. So, if we go to Disneyland, we could leave after work on Wednesday and be there in 4 hours, and have a lot more time to have fun.

If I decide to go to graduation, we'd take the long drive to Colorado, stay for about a day or two, and then drive all the way back.

But then again, it's my graduation. However, on the other hand, I did all my coursework online, so I don't actually know anyone.

Gah!

So, I'm taking a poll. If you were me, what would you do?

GoodReads.com

2011-06-16T17:36:00.001-07:00

If you've never tried GoodReads.com, you might want to. It's basically a social networking site for book-lovers, or just anyone who likes to read. You can keep track of which books you're reading, which ones you've read, and which ones you want to read. You can rate books and read reviews.

While all of that is great, those aren't my favorite things about the website. My favorite part is that you can enter into drawings to receive FREE first-reads. That means books that have not been published and the authors or publishers would like reviews or feedback. They will ship it right to you house. Did I mention, for FREE!?

Who doesn't like free books? Who doesn't like free anything?

I won one that should be coming in the next few weeks. I'm really excited about it.

If you decide to sign up, make sure you add me as a friend!

http://www.goodreads.com/charlydaws

Happy Reading!

An End in Sight

2011-06-03T17:05:00.001-07:00

Monday is the start of the end. No, not the rapture, but of my schooling. Monday I begin my last quarter of my master's. It's going to be tough, stressful, overwhelming, and time-consuming. I just hope I make it out alive.

I hope to graduate in August, and I will have a Master of Liberal Studies in Arts and Culture with a Creative Writing concentration.

Go, Me!

My Adventures in France!

2011-06-01T22:26:00.001-07:00

I know it's taken me so long to do this post. There was just so much to say that it felt overwhelming to try and explain my trip in one blog post. I know that most of you who read my blog have already seen my pictures on Facebook, but I'm going to include some in this post anyway, for good measure.

I've been dreaming of visiting France--and Europe in general--since I was a little girl. In high school I took four years of French, and it only increased my desire. College, I minored in French and learned about the culture and the beautiful and amazing French history. I always knew that one day I'd go; I just wasn't sure when. Then I got married and I was no longer that single girl who could do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. I believed that I wouldn't get to go to France until after future children were grown.

One day I was talking with my aunt and she mentioned how Michelle, my sister, wanted to go to France as a graduation trip. She invited me along and I said I would talk with my husband, expecting him to say that now wasn't a good time. But, I was wrong. He encouraged me to go, and that it would be an awesome experience for me. So, we made it a girls' trip: me, Michelle, my aunt, and my aunt's friend.

And the day finally came to leave for France. I flew from Phoenix to Minneapolis--which took about four hours. Then, we all met up in Minneapolis and flew straight to Paris--which is a nine hour flight. My body doesn't handle traveling very well, and I'm not going to lie; it was miserable. It was crowded, cramped, and the food made my stomach hurt. But, who cares, right!? I'm going to France!

We finally made it to Paris and began our journey. We visited quite a few places, but there were many places we didn't have time to visit.

Here are some of my favorite places and pictures:

1. L'Arc de Triomphe

Our hotel was a six minute walk from L'Arc de Triomphe. We passed it several times a day, and it was just as incredible as the first time, every time.

I've always known L'Arc de Triomphe was big, but you just never completely know until you see it in person. It's HUGE. It may not look huge in these pictures, but it is. Trust me. I couldn't believe it.

2. La Tour Eiffel (The Eiffel Tower)

You can't go to Paris and not see the Eiffel Tower. Again, so much bigger than I had ever imagined.

It was breathtaking.

Since we were there, we decided to take the opportunity to ride those little glass elevators all the way to the top. It's not something I would normally do, but I wanted to fully experience Paris. I tried very hard not to freak out, and it worked...mostly. I did better than some other people in my group. The picture above is from the very top of the Eiffel Tower.

This is from the 2nd or 3rd level of the Eiffel Tower; my attempt to hug it.

Notice that person, on the left of the Eiffel Tower. He was climbing on the outside, at the very top of the tower. My aunt told security and they were running around in a panic. Then they realized that he worked there, and he was just changing a light bulb. That has to be one of the craziest jobs in the world.

The Eiffel Tower at night was a whole different experience. My pictures don't do it justice.

3. Notre Dame

Notre Dame was my absolute favorite place in Paris. It has so much history, and the Gothic architecture is incredible.

As beautiful as the outside was, the inside was even better.

I found it strange that they allowed tourists into Notre Dame while people were attending Mass and worshipping. Also, their confessionals were glass offices, and you could see people confessing. AND...people were taking pictures of people worshipping and confessing. My guess is that the photo-takers were American. I couldn't believe the disrespect some people showed.

4. Le Louvre

We didn't get to go inside, but at least we saw the outside.

5. The Palace of Versailles

Again, I didn't realize how big it is. H.U.G.E!

And all the gold was so bright that it hurt my eyes. Now that's a lot of gold.

The above picture is my favorite picture of the whole trip.

Nearly every room had intricate paintings on the ceiling.

The gardens of Versailles were bigger than the palace. Everything was sculpted and meticulous.

6. Nice, France

After our time in Paris, my sister and I took the TGV Bullet Train down to the south of France, Nice--pronounced niece. It was lovely, the weather was perfect, and the water was so blue.

France was amazing, but I missed my husband so much. Next time, I'm persuading my husband to come with me. And if you ever get the chance to go, do it! You won't regret it.

Offended Ovaries

2011-04-09T08:25:00.003-07:00

I recently had some health concerns and had to get some tests done. Yesterday when I went to the doctor, she printed the results for me. One line stood out more than any other.

"Her ovaries are unremarkable."

Excuse me!? Unremarkable?! Is my ovarian upkeep really that bad?

Why couldn't they use the term "normal" or "healthy" or "average"?

"Unremarkable" makes me feel like I should be offended, my ovaries should be offended. I think my ovaries are rather remarkable, personally.

On a side note, that may or may not be related, don't Google image search "offended ovaries". You'll thank me later.

25 Days Until

2011-04-07T17:32:00.001-07:00

I see these:

Then I get to ride on one of these:

which looks like this on the inside:

to get me to here:

The Start of a Pretty Good Day

2011-03-09T17:58:00.001-07:00

I knew it was going to be a good day today when I looked up the forecast and saw that it was going to be in the 80's for the next 10 days. In honor of warmer, more delicious Arizona weather, I shaved my legs (Shocker!), pulled out a pair of shorts, and slipped my feet into some flip flops, even though I've been wearing flip flops and sandals through the entire winter. Still, my little tootsies like to be free.

I've been wearing pants for a few months, and it has been killing me. I hate wearing pants. My legs need to breathe! It's time, ladies and gentlemen, to bust out my summer clothes. Sadly, most of them won't fit, I'm sure, because of my weight gain after getting married, but I'm working on that, too.

And that's another thing that made today a good day. As you can see from my little weight loss ticker up above, I've now lost 1.6 pounds. It's not much, but it's a start! I'm so proud of myself for getting up before work each day this week and working out. It looks like it will pay off. I can't wait until I can lose the 15 pounds I gained after getting married.

Also, Jose and I have wedding festivities this Friday, all day. That means, 4-day work week for me!

And to top it all off, Jose woke up early and made me a delicious breakfast this morning.

I'm happy. I'm lovin' life.

A Transition

2011-02-14T17:27:00.001-07:00

Since college, I've loved bright, bold earrings and clothing. I feel like I've blossomed with the college wardrobe, but it's time to move on. Lately when I go shopping, I am drawn to more sophisticated pieces. When picking out earrings for my daily outfits--it has always been my favorite part about getting ready in the morning--I can't seem to bring myself to wear some of my favorite pairs of earrings. I'm almost embarrassed by them. Don't get me wrong; I think they're darling. Just maybe too young for who I am now.

So, I've come to a decision. I will go through all my clothes and jewelry and sort out the ones that are too young for me, and then I'll send them to my younger sister who is just starting that stage of life that I'm finishing.

I want to be sophisticated. Classy. An adult. And I want my wardrobe to reflect my current stage of life: married, own my own home, responsible.

So, I'm giving away things like these earrings:

And this shirt:

And so on.

And I want a look that is more like this:

My fashion icons are: Stacy London (pictured above) and Audrey Hepburn. How can you go wrong with those two fashion mavens guiding you? A sophisticated grown-up look doesn't have to be beige and boring. And I love that.

Two real-life inspirations for me have been my good, high school/church friend Jessica. She is such a classy person, from her house to how she dresses. I'm always envious of her outfits.

The other one is an ex-coworker, Katie. She just had such a mature, grown-up way of dressing that was still chic and modern. Loved it!

Blast from My Past: New Orleans

2011-02-09T16:38:00.000-07:00

In November, 2007, my aunt, my mom, my little sister, and I went to Mississippi and Louisiana. I had always wanted to visit New Orleans and this was finally my chance. Since none of us knew our way around the French Quarter, we decided to hire a tour guide.

He was quite the character. Literally. He used to stage act, and it seemed that that type of behavior was now part of his everyday self. He was dramatic, engaging, strange, quite ridiculous, and smelled strongly of alcohol and body odor. Not to mention perverted. In one instance he made mention of wanting to ring someone's bell.

We saw the Mississippi River, Richard Simmon's house, old slave-selling quarters, and so on. He showed us the best places to get beignets and hot chocolate, muffaletas and po'boys. He even showed us where we could see some racy entertainment, complete with topless dancers.

At the end of our tour, he had us all gather around him.

"What a pleasure it has been to show you my lovely city. You have been beautiful guests, and I hope you come to adore New Orleans as I do."

He took a deep bow, lowered his head, and extended his hand palm-up. He didn't move. For about three minutes. We all looked at each other, confused. Why wasn't he moving? What is he waiting for? Are we just supposed to walk away?

I started clapping. Slightly slow at first. Everyone around me joined in. We were all convinced that that is what he was waiting for. After about 45 seconds of clapping, he stood up. Finally. We said thank you and walked away.

It wasn't until a half hour later that I realized he had been waiting for a tip.

Planning A Trip to...

2011-02-02T17:34:00.000-07:00

HERE!

And here!

I can't wait until I can see this site for myself:

My sister, my aunt, and I planning to go this coming May!

C'est vrai!

Blast from My Past: The Pervert in the Bathroom

2011-01-12T16:40:00.004-07:00

I've always loved libraries. There is just something so beautiful and comforting about them. I especially loved going to my college library in between classes, just to have a quiet place to read to or get started on some recently-assigned homework. But as much as I would just love to have continued my reading, sometimes I needed to take a bathroom break. I walked in and went to one of the stalls. In the middle of my visit I hear a bottle of soda being opened. It was the undeniable "whoosh" sound from the pressure of the carbonation being released.

1. I knew that I was alone when I walked in there.
2. Gross. Who would drink a soda in the bathroom?
3. Did someone sneak in there and was trying to listen to me pee? While they enjoyed their beverage?

I quickly finished, and I opened the stall door as quickly as I could, just hoping that I would startle the dirty, little pervert. No one was there. I was alone in the bathroom. I figured they must have left when I flushed the toilet. I went out into the nearby study areas and looked for someone who had a bottle of soda. No one did.

The next day, the same thing happened: I was in the bathroom when I heard the soda opening. This time I opened the door before flushing the toilet. I was still alone.

The day after, the exact same thing. I heard the bottle of soda being opened. I couldn't take it anymore. Was someone following me?

"I can hear you!" I said.

No response. Alone again.

The next time I went in there, a few days later, it didn't happen. Not until I was at the sink washing my hands.

That's when I saw my dirty, little pervert.

It was the automatic air freshener attached high on the wall, spiting out smelly-goodness every few minutes.

Resolutions from Days Gone By

2010-12-27T17:06:00.001-07:00

It's the time of year to review past goals and achievements and make new ones. I've decided that before I can make new goals for 2011, I have to see how well I did on 2010's goals.

Lose 15 pounds. Well, well, well, that didn't work out so well. I was doing just fine and dandy, and then I got married. I've actually gained those 15 pounds.
Run a 5k. I didn't get anywhere near that. A few weeks ago, I finally made it up to running half a mile without stopping. Super pathetic. I guess that goes along with those 15 extra pounds.
Send out a manuscript/article once a month. I was doing super well with this one. I even started in December. As soon as I started dating my husband, I stopped. Priorities are a funny thing, aren't they?
Work on personal writing once a week. Never even started with this one. I find this one a little difficult because I'm currently working on my master's in writing. I feel that maybe it will be better to wait until I'm done with school work and assignments.
Buy a place of my own. Ok! I achieved one thing on my list!
Start a travel fund. What started out a travel fund became my wedding and honeymoon fund. Priorities strike again.

Well, at least I've completed one of those things. Perhaps not the most successful, in terms of goal-achieving, but it was definitely my year. I bought my place and got married. Sure, I got fat and lazy. But now I can focus my time and energy on getting back into the rhythm of life. And with that, I hope, those fifteen pounds will run away and never come home.

Blast from My Past: Gigantor

2010-12-21T16:38:00.001-07:00

I've been contemplating this little, on-going feature for a while now. I feel like I have some weird, funny, or crazy stories from my childhood or past that people would enjoy. So, this is the first of many blasts from my past.

About three years ago, I moved from California to Utah. My mom and my little half-sister, Makela, lived there. She's a very smart girl--a girl who picks up on almost everything. She was a bright, emotional, and funny little four-year-old. After every single one of my visits to my mom's house, Makela would walk me out to my car, leave me with some words of wisdom, wave goodbye, and run beside the car--on the sidewalk, of course--until she passed one or two houses.

Her words of wisdom always started with "Remember...". "Remember...be nice to your friends." "Remember...you should clean your room." "Remember...I love you!" Always sweet little thoughts.

On one particular occasion, I was about to head to my apartment when she started with the usual routine. She gave me a hug and a kiss and had me roll down my window. She said, "Remember...the government has changed your name to Gigantor!" She smiles at me, tells me she loves me, and skips back into the house.

Needless to say, I was absolutely shocked and amused. I believe my actual reaction to my other sister sitting in the car with me was "What the crap?!"

Ah, 'Tis the Season!

2010-11-20T08:41:00.002-07:00

Enjoy!

Hip Hop:

Country Get-Down!

"The Shack" and Other Travesties

2010-11-17T16:39:00.000-07:00

When I pick up a new book to read, I expect it to be properly punctuated, written, and edited. I mean, isn't that the whole purpose of having editors employed by publishing houses?

I recently picked a new book to read from my bookshelf. I chose "The Shack" by William P. Young. From the first page, I was horrified. The editor(s) doesn't seem to understand the concept of correct comma usage. They are all over the map. Sometimes they get it right, and sometimes they don't. The main problem I saw was the lacking commas after introductory phrases.

It's so bad that I can't even concentrate on the story. I'm only on chapter 3, and I'm already twitching and fuming while I read it. And I find that highly unprofessional for a legitimately published book.

So, I decided to write a little note to the publisher, Windblown Media.

Here is the note:

"I have recently picked up 'The Shack', which your company published. However, I'm having a difficult time reading it because of the bad punctuation throughout the first three chapters--as that is how far I've read. Who edits for you? I'm a writer and editor by trade, and I'm appalled that that book was published in its current form. It seems more like a rough draft than a completed, refined fiction novel. Perhaps I should clarify; introductory clauses should be set off by commas before proceeding to the dependent clause. I'll give you an example. 'After Harry went to the mailbox, he slipped and broke his arm.'

While I understand that the story written on those pages is important, I can't get into the story because of the disregard of the established rules for the English language.

It is something to keep in mind if you ever decide to publish something else or a new edition of 'The Shack'. "

All I'm saying is that they should hire me to edit for them instead. Because, it's obvious their current editor isn't doing a great job.

Am I the only one that goes crazy over this? I have a feeling that there are a lot of English majors out there who agree.

To Eat or Not to Eat...

2010-11-16T16:22:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I have a hard time eating in front of certain people--usually around the people I feel that judge me or could be judging me. It used to happen whenever I was around males that I found attractive or males that were popular.

When I went to EFY for a week in Utah, I hardly ate anything. This was because the lunch room was always so packed that the only seat left was right next to the line. Every single person in line would look at what you're eating, just to see what was on the menu. I couldn't do it. I would barely pick at the food. I lost about 10 pounds during that week--and I was already rail-thin.

In high school, I hung around with a few boys mixed in with my friends who were girls. Whenever they were there, I would only pick at my food. I couldn't bring myself to eat too much or get something on my face.

This was obviously not healthy body-image behavior. I tried working on it while in college, and it did get better. Sometimes it comes and goes. When I first started hanging out with my now-husband, I wouldn't eat a lot. But this was a mix of a bad body-image and me being sick from medication. But, once I felt comfortable around him, I could eat food just fine.

But now, I feel it reverting back to my old self while I'm around a coworker. This person is very outspoken when it comes to health--which is perfectly fine. However, this person makes comments about eating bread on my sandwiches or any type of carb or a commercial breakfast (Ihop or Denny's). I feel that no matter what I bring for lunch, this person has to make a comment about what is bad for me. It makes me feel disgusting and fat. It makes me feel super guilty, and I don't think I should feel that way. I'm starting to get to the point where I'd rather be ravenously hungry all day than chancer this person making a comment about what I'm eating. I honestly don't think I'm eating that horribly--not enough to comment each day, at least.

I don't want to go back to not being able to eat in front of people, but I don't know how to combat it. I know it is silly to care so much about what someone thinks of me, but because of my past, I sometimes have a difficult time.

Letter to My 16-Year-Old Self

2010-11-04T18:34:00.001-07:00

Dear Charlene at 16,

You're not fat. Seriously, you're not. Enjoy being that thin while you can. It will last until your medical conditions flare up and the doctors put you on all the wrong medications. And I know you think your a hideous monster that no one could ever love. It isn't true. You'll find love. And it isn't when you're old and moldy.

I know it seems devastating that no one asks you out. But you'll realize later that it is actually a good thing. It gives you the opportunity to work on yourself, discover what you are passionate about, and enjoy your family more.

I would tell you to be a little more--or a lot more--social in high school and college, but then you won't be who I am today. And that would be sad because you will find that as the years go by, you learn to be yourself, branch out, appreciate yourself and your body, and set the right priorities. But do enjoy and appreciate all your high school friendships. As much as you all say you will always keep in touch, it isn't true. Everyone moves in a different direction, and it is never the same once you graduate. The same is true when you move away from home. Enjoy it while you can. You won't always live near loved ones. And that can get lonely. Good memories help a lot.

You'll meet a lot of people in your life who will try to manipulate you. Don't let them. Stand up for yourself. This is something with which you'll struggle for a long time. But it makes you stronger--even if it is little by little.

And don't feel bad about throwing away food that is going bad. Don't eat it to punish yourself for wasting food. Really, it's ok. Your health is more important than that bag of slimey spinach and those not-so-fresh greenbeans. On that note, just stop feeling guilty about everything--especially when things aren't your fault or are out of your control. It isn't worth the heartache through which you put yourself. And don't internalize that guilt and heartache. It eats you up from the inside until it showcases itself externally.

Be happy. Enjoy your life. Have fun. Enjoy softball, reading, and cheerleading. These will always be your favorite memories from high school. And be excited for the memories you'll make along your journey. Life is good.

Love,

Your Almost 25-year-old self

Grammatically O.C.D.

2010-11-04T17:52:00.002-07:00

I'm becoming more O.C.D. about grammar, spelling, and punctuation with each passing day. I have to hide certain people from my Facebook news feed because I can't take seeing their mistakes over and over. I've been trained to correct those mistakes, and the only way I can find to resist doing that is to not look at their updates until I feel ready. I know people hate to be corrected. Heck, I do, too. However, I feel that people should be able to correctly write and speak their native languages.

I feel that people who should know proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation just don't. I've found many English majors who don't know the basics. I've seen those who used to know the difference between too/to, their/they're/there, and you're/your start using it incorrectly consistently. I just don't understand what's going on.

With that said, I may or may not have emailed a local radio station because one of their employees keeps using "irregardless". I seriously can't take it. It's been eating at me for weeks. When it subsided, he used it again. I don't think it would have bothered me as much if he didn't always talk down to callers who mispronounce words.

Enough of the tirade. I am just trying to keep in mind that some people simply have other skill sets. And that's ok. Really, it is. I'm trying so hard not to judge, roll my eyes, or twitch. Promise.

The thing is that I love to help people correct those mistakes. I love to edit people's papers, manuscripts, or school assignments.

Halloween Treats

2010-11-01T17:59:00.004-07:00

A few months ago I blogged about my first attempt at chocolate and sprinkle covered marshmallows. They didn't turn out so well. They were drippy, lumpy, and bald patches of sprinkles.

For Halloween, I tried it again. They turned out a lot better.

I can't wait until I can try it again for a new holiday!

Old-School Survey

2010-11-01T16:56:00.001-07:00

I saw one of these on Facebook this weekend, and I thought I'd do it. This is probably super boring for everyone. My apologies. But, I'm still going to post it. :)

Where is your Mother? In Mapleton, Utah.

Where is your Father? In Ceres, California.

Do you like to swim? LOVE IT!

Do you need to return anyone's phone call? It depends on who it is.

Where were you born? Vicenza, Italy.

Where do you keep your birth certificate? A secret place. :)

How many days until your birthday? 15! It's a'comin'!

How many books are in your room? In my bedroom, maybe 5 or 6. In my family/dining room, probably a couple hundred or so.

Who is your favorite teacher of all time? Mr. Terry Gorton. He was an English professor I had while I was at BYU-Idaho.

Name one of your goals for this year? One was to lose 15 pounds. But, guess what!? I gained the 15 I was supposed to lose. Oh, well.

What is the biggest trouble you have ever been in? Umm, I was sued after a car accident for almost half a million dollars.

Did you cry because Michael Jackson died? I did. A lot.

Ever pop someone else's pimple? That's nasty. No, thank you. My husband tries to entice me to pop his, but I just can't do it.

How long does it take you to fall asleep? About 3 seconds. Ask my hubby. I lay down anywhere, and I'm out for the night.

What are you looking forward to? My birthday. I'm going to take it off of work. Unfortunately, it is also the day my final paper and presentation are due for a class.

What other language do you want to be fluent in? I'd like to get back my French. I'd also love to learn Italian.

Worst feeling in the world? Not being able to sleep at night.

Do you wish at 11:11? Sometimes, when I look at the clock at that exact moment.

Yep. Totally boring. Sorry, guys. But now you know a few things about me that you may not have known before.

I Have a Little Problem

2010-10-27T16:44:00.001-07:00

I'm a pansy. Almost anything and everything freaks me out. But this isn't really the problem. The problem is that I'm so drawn to the storylines of scary movies or creepy books/short stories. It makes me die inside, but I. Can't. Stop. Watching. or. Reading! I always pay the price afterward.

I've been reading some of Edgar Allan Poe's freaky short stories, in order to get into the Halloween spirit. One time I was lying on my bed while reading "Murders in the Rue Morgue" by the Poe-ster. I was freaked out. I have a physical reaction to being scared. My heart quickens, I feel tingly, my stomach starts to roll, flip, and tighten, and I bring my face closer and closer to the page of the book.

All my husband did was open the bedroom door to see how I was doing, and I spazzed. Not a little spaz, but a HUGE spaz. My body instantly flips over to face the bedroom door, my legs and arms go flying in all directions, and I clutch at my heart. I don't do it on purpose; it just happens. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "What's your problem?". I, of course, got mad at him for scaring me. He looked over to the book I was reading and just shook his head and walked out of the room.

The next night, I was reading the Poe-a-nator again. My husband had a basketball game for the city that night, so I put the book down, got in the car, and began our little journey. I was still creeped out about the story I had been reading. In the corner of my eye, it looked like my lover was staring at me intently. This may seem weird, but people who creepily stare is one of my biggest fears. Again, I spazzed. I clutched at my heart and gasped like I had just been stabbed in my stomach. And I was driving. He was horrified that I swerved because I thought he had been staring at me. Apparently, he had just been staring out my window at some kids playing football. Whatever. Liar. He told me I shouldn't read books that scare me. Psshh.

Moving on. This weekend, I wanted to get in the Halloween spirit as I put away the laundry. So, my first choice was "Garfield's Halloween".

I used to watch this as a child, and I loved it! It was just as good as I remembered! It wasn't too creepy, so I was good to go.

After I finished that little movie, I still had more laundry to put away. So, my next choice was:

Yes, I realize this is a little kid's movie, but it totally freaks me out. After I finished that movie, I decided I was done being alone in my room. I needed friendly company. I went into the family room and joined my husband on the couch. He decided that he would turn the channel to a scary movie:
Luckily, it wasn't as scary as it could've been because it was on T.V. I couldn't stop watching it. The story was SO interesting. My husband was clueless about the horrifying story unfolding before us because he was busy watching sports on his computer. LAME!

After the movie ended, it was already past my bedtime. I was horrified with the thought of lying IN. THE. DARK! I ran into a little problem. I had to go pee. But, I couldn't imagine being the bathroom alone without some murderous freak attacking me. I tried to convince my husband that if he loved me, he would accompany me to the restroom. Any gentleman would, right? I only had to pee. Is that such a big deal!? He flat-out refused. RUDE. I had to go to the bathroom all by myself. It was SCARY! Then, I had to sleep with the lamp on because I would panic if the lights were turned off. My darling husband fell asleep right away, as I'm laying stiffly in bed, with only my eyes showing above my blanket, with sketchy eyes scanning every crevass of the room. So much for marrying someone who can protect you. I could've died, I tell you!

My husband has since told me that I am not allowed to watch scary movies before bed if that is how I'll react. He's probably right.

To Blog or Not to Blog--That is the Question

2010-10-21T17:03:00.002-07:00

I was planning on blogging about something else, but I can't seem to pass this one up.

I was getting a little frustrated because I thought that hardly anyone read my blog. While I do write for myself, I also write for others. I guess I correlated the lack of readers to the lack of comments--even when I've asked for feedback. A lack of comments makes me question myself and my relationships with those I thought would want to read my blog. Dramatic? Yeah, I suppose so. I write. That's what I do. So, when people don't respond, I assume it is boring, poorly written, or just lame.

With all of that in mind, I decided to check my Google Analytics and actually see how many people read my blog. I was quite surprised. It was a larger number than I thought it would be. And yet, no one seems interested.

But, one thing that did interest me while looking over the information on Google Analytics was the keywords that led the reader to my blog. Here they are:

1. Why was Gary Coleman in Utah?

2. Oranges

3. Girl Fart on Toilet (pretty sure I've never talked about girls farting on toilets.)

4. How to Be a California Girl for Halloween

5. Hinckley Love Your Wife

6. Oranges at Gravestones

7. Smelly Girl

I'm not going to lie. Some of those keywords or phrases freak me out.

So, I know this is totally pathetic, but if you have something you want to say or ask, please don't hesitate. We, bloggers, LOVE to get feedback because that means someone cares enough to comment. It means someone cares enough to read. It means that someone cares enough about me that they want to know how my life is progressing.

Also, I apologize in advance for my next post. It will be about classic literature and its presence in a new music video. I just think it's cool. I know literary references doesn't excite most people as it excites me. Ah, well. You've been warned.

Mini Letters

2010-10-15T16:30:00.001-07:00

Dear Weekend,
It's about time you showed up. Each weekday has bullied me this week, and I've been anxiously waiting for you to save me.

Dear Hips and Thighs,
Stop expanding. It doesn't make me feel good when you won't fit into my jeans.

Dear Jeans,
Stop getting smaller. I know it isn't really your fault; it just makes me feel better to blame you.

Dear Morning Workouts,
Have you missed me? Sorry about this week. I went to bed really late earlier in the week, and I've been trying to catch up ever since. I promise I'll visit you next week.

Dear Edgar Allan Poe,
You're creepy. I can tell you had some major issues to work through while you were alive. Your stories give me nightmares and make me jump out of my skin when my husband simply opens the door. And yet, you're a fantastic and skilled writer. I can't stop reading you. Thank you for getting me in the Halloween spirit.

Dear Husband,
You make me feel safe while I sleep...after I've read Edgar Allan Poe. Thanks for supporting my book obsession. I love you.

Dear October Nights,
You're beautiful. Thanks for having delicious warmth during the day and a beautiful cool breeze during the night.

Dear Swimming Pool,
I will do everything in my power to see you tomorrow. I'm not sure how much longer we can see each other. But, I'll make the most of it. I promise.

Dear California,
I miss you--especially as we are nearing the holidays. I won't get to come visit you this year. I'm sorry. I'll always miss you. Don't worry; even though I love Arizona, you will always be my home. As soon as I'm able, I will come visit you. And we'll have a grand ol' time together. Swear.

You May Have Noticed...

2010-10-13T16:41:00.004-07:00

...that I added a Shelfari bookshelf to the top of my blog. Even though I don't read as much as I'd like to or as much as I used to, I like have a visual representation of my reading efforts. Instead of showing you all the books I've read, I'll just keep the books I'm currently reading updated.

Because of an intense homework assignment, I haven't had too much time to read for fun. But, I am making my way through "The Murders in the Rue Morgue" by Edgar Allan Poe. I've never read this story before, and I was quite stunned last night by the graphic nature. Let's just say that I'm surprised that it didn't give me nightmares.

If you'd like to read it for yourself, and experience all the ghastly horrors for which Edgar Allan Poe is so well known, you can read it here. The first little bit of the "story" is super boring and about analyzing. I honestly didn't see too much need for it--as the story explains itself enough. If you want, just skip to where the story really begins! :) It will be a creepy time for all!

Since I'm on the topic of books, I found an amazing picture of a bookshelf. I am seriously in love!

Um, hello!? That is my dream. Isn't it ever so lovely?

Also, my lovely hubby accompanied me to Borders to use fifteen bucks in Borders Bucks, along with a coupon. I was only going to get two books because I didn't know if my hubby would be too keen on me adding more books that I don't have time to read to my full bookshelves. But, he actually wanted me to get three. All in all, I only paid five bucks for three books. I was a very happy woman. Here they are:

This is the second book of the "Golden Compass"trilogy. I was lucky enough to find the first and third books on sale at local libraries. I wanted to complete the set with the second book. I've only read the first one--a while ago for a class--but I'm excited to read through the entire trilogy in a row.

I've never read this book before, but I'm a fan of Neil Gaiman. Well, I guess I should clarify. I read "Coraline" and I LOVED it. Yes, it's creepy, but he does such a fabulous job telling the story and bringing to characters to life. And that's a weird phrase to use for the characters. If you've read it, you'll know what I'm talking about. Maybe I'll have some time to read it this month, in celebration of Halloween.

Apparently, this is the book that inspired Disney to make the "Princess and the Frog" movie. Other than that, I've never heard of it. I totally judge books by their covers. And I loved this cover. Plus, I adore reading books that are in a series. I think it is because I always feel dissatisfied with the story ending. I always want more. I saw that this one had a gazillion more books after the first book, and I was excited.

I'm ecstatic to get started on these books--and the tons of other books I haven't gotten around to reading.

But, what I really want to know is...

What are YOU reading? Do tell. I love book gossip.

Happy 100th Post!

2010-10-05T16:46:00.000-07:00

This is my 100th post. I feel like people should give me presents for this. :)

It is also my four month anniversary. While it seems like I've been married for a long time, it has gone very quickly. I'm getting used to being married now. It wasn't as weird of a transition as I thought it'd be.

Along with these two happy milestones, I have a super busy week ahead of me.

Submit my graduation application.
Buy "Beauty and the Beast". Yes, this is a necessity. I just have to find the time to go to the store and buy it for my movie collection.
Schedule a phone appointment with my academic advisor.
Read a 300+ page book for class, write a seven page paper, and create a powerpoint presentation for the class.
Begin working on my Capstone Proposal.
Two meetings/appointments in Downtown Phoenix tomorrow, during rush-hour traffic. This could get interesting.
A good friend's wedding reception on Thursday.
My hubby's city-league basketball game also on Thursday evening.
Not to mention working out, cleaning, cooking, and organizing. These might have to wait until I've finished my homework.
Make my way over to Borders in order to use my Borders Bucks that expire soon.

Even with so much to do this week, I'm actually looking forward to it. Although, I do wish I was already done with my homework. :)

10 Things You May Not Know About Me

2010-09-30T17:07:00.000-07:00

I saw this one another's blog, and I found it interesting. So, I'll give it a try.

1. I'm paranoid in public restrooms. Yes, for the germs, but for something even scarier! When I go into a public restroom that isn't busy--or I can't tell if anyone is in there--I have to open each stall and make sure someone isn't there. And it isn't because I don't want people to hear me go to the bathroom; it is because I watch too many scary movies. I freak out if I don't check because I imagine that either they'll be a dead body in the stall next to me or some creepy, dead toddler will grab my leg.

2. Whenever I kick open (gently) a public bathroom stall door, I hear the "Psycho" music in my head because I expect to see a horrible crime scene or something left by someone too lazy to flush. And both possible outcomes are horrifying.

3. I can't sleep in complete darkness. Again, for the fear of creepy, dead toddlers or finding a stranger man in my room. On this one, I guess it is a mix of too many scary movies and too many SVU episodes.

4. I believe that my deceased dog had something very special about him. He was a good friend with semi-human tendencies. I miss him so much. I don't believe that another dog can compare. It's just impossible. I also believe that he should be in heaven. Because if he's not, it just doesn't seem right. And he gets two pictures because he is that special.

5. I get semi-depressed when I see an author came out with a new book. He or she is living my dream, and I can't seem to attain it.

6. I totally blog stalk and Facebook stalk. Even people I don't like.

7. I have two ways I deal with stress: cry or sleep.

8. I've always been extremely attracted to men with super skinny legs. And it just so happens that my husband has them. Bow Chica Bow Wow!

9. I don't do well with death. As a child, when my goldfishes died, I cried my eyes out and placed them, dirty tank and all, under the sink in the bathroom. I would never open that cupboard again while I knew they were there. It would start to smell. I mean REALLY, REALLY smell. A few days later, the smell would be gone and so would my fishies and their tank. No one ever talked to me about it. And I did it several times during my childhood.

10. I can't help it; fart jokes make me laugh the hardest.

There you have it. Maybe when I can think of some more, I'll do another 10 Things post down the road.

It's Never a Good Day When...

2010-09-29T16:23:00.000-07:00

My fat pants have become my Oh-my-gosh-are-you-kidding-me-why-are-they-so-tight-I-swear-I'm-not-eating-for-a-month pants.

It's a very depressing day.

What in the World?!

2010-09-28T16:52:00.000-07:00

That was my reaction when I saw this monstrosity:

I found this while I was searching for free knitting patterns online. Seriously? Who would wear this?

I think I just died inside.

Today's Lunch

2010-09-24T16:53:00.000-07:00

First, I ate this:
That didn't quite hit the spot. I needed something else. So, I ate this:

A little while later, I was hungry again. So, I ate this:

What does all this mean?

I desperately need to go grocery shopping.

Ups and Downs

2010-09-21T16:20:00.001-07:00

Today had its ups and downs.

One of my favorite authors, Brandon Mull, is coming out with a new series. While I was instantly excited, I was also instantly jealous. He is living my dream. And that makes me kind of sick. He found the way to get in--something I have yet to discover. And that wholly frustrates me.

Instead of negatively internalizing that frustration and jealousy, I decided that I needed to be proactive.

My solution? Starting an online critiquing group for my fellow writers. I've sent messages and emails to a few people who I know that write, and I hope this all pans out.

If you want to join or know someone who does, let me know!

And I'll continue submitting my work to literary journals, agents, and publisher. One day...

Crafting and Cooking Update

2010-09-15T20:07:00.011-07:00

I haven't updated in a little while, but I'm sort of proud of myself. :)

Growing up, my mom and dad always made Katsudon. It is a Japanese dish. I'm assuming my parents learned how to make it while they lived over there for a while. While most of my siblings have recreated it many, many times, I had not. I wanted to make it for my lovely husband. Boy, did I not realize how much work it requires. It took me about 2 hours from start to finish--but I'm sure it's because I am an inexperienced cook. Katsudon is tenderized pork strips that are dipped in egg, flour, and then Asian bread crumbs. After frying the strips, you make a sauce to go over the top of the Asian rice. It was delicious. And I think my husband liked it--or maybe he just lied to save my feelings. Either way, here are the results:
My next cooking experiment was properly preparing spaghetti squash for my love. I've made it once before about a year ago, but it didn't quite turn out the way I wanted it to. So, attempt two began. I cut the squash in half, took out the seeds, and placed it cut side down in two inches of boiling water for about twenty minutes. After that, I took a fork and scraped out the insides--resembling spaghetti, like its namesake. Then, I mixed the squash with spaghetti sauce, and I put it back in the shell of the squash to bake for another 20 minutes or so. I added Parmesan cheese to the top. Here you go:
Now, on to crafting. I was tired of having to run around the house trying to find a pen while I was in the kitchen. So, I crafted a crude--as in technique, not attitude--pen holder to hang on the fridge, next to the note pad.

I also have a gazillion scarf request for this coming Christmas. I finished another one, for my toddler niece--Aralyn.

I put it on the bear to give it perspective for size.

I think it turned out alright. :) I'm improving, and that makes me happy.

Preparing for Halloween

2010-09-15T07:22:00.000-07:00

Since I probably won't be able to dress up for Halloween this year because people are duds, I wanted to still celebrate somehow.

What better way than to read the Halloween-ish classics? That's right. I'm talking about good ol' Edgar Allan Poe.

I have this beauty just a'waitin' on my bookshelf:

But what that means is that I need to finish the book I'm currently reading before the start of October. That way, I can read creepy, freaky, and delusional stories from the master himself for the entire month leading up to Halloween.

If you've never experienced the creepiness and joy of reading Mr. Poe's works, October might be the perfect time for you to start.

My personal favorites?
1. The Black Cat
2. The Fall of the House of Usher
3. The Masque of the Red Death

And if you're really motivated, you can click on the links above for each short story and read them for yourself. No worries. Once Halloween gets closer, I'll be posting links to Poe stories to keep us going. And yes, I'm probably the only one excited about this.

Personality Test

2010-09-13T17:01:00.001-07:00

Today, my next online master's class began. I always love the first few days because of the introductions. The professor wanted us to answer a list of questions about ourselves. One of those questions was our personality type with the Myers Briggs test. I've always liked taking these sort of tests--just to see how accurate they are.

It came back that I'm INFJ (Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judging). In high school, I took this same test in a Psychology class. The results were the same. Here are some of the things in my personality description that I felt perfectly described me:

"Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life."
"Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends."
"INFJs have a knack for fluency in language and facility in communication."
"Writing, counseling, public service and even politics are areas where INFJs frequently find their niche." Obviously just the "writing" section for me. :)
"While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type." This one helps me explain myself better. People have always been confused and frustrated when I shut myself off and need to be alone for a little bit. But it's true; my resources become depleted, and I cannot continue without having a panic attack or something similar. I'm not doing it to be rude. I've always done it--since I was young.
"Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills."

There you have it--more than you ever wanted to know about me.

But, what I'm really interested in is your personality results. So, click here to take the test and then post your results so I can see them, too!

Pen Name Needed

2010-09-08T16:10:00.000-07:00

As I'm re-jumpstarting my writing career and trying to become a published author, I think I need a pen name. For some reason, I'm feeling very uncomfortable using my new married name and identity. I feel that I need to separate it somehow. And I think the use of a pseudonym is the perfect solution.

I was thinking of using:

C.J. Dawson

I feel it represents all of my names. :)

I haven't thought of any other ones yet because this one keeps coming back to me.

What do you guys think? I'd appreciate some feedback, advice, or suggestions. :)

Belles Lettres Literary Services

2010-09-08T16:05:00.001-07:00

So, it has been a dream of mine to have my own editing business. I had been working on the website a while ago, but then life got busy, and I didn't have time. Now, I've decided to be more dedicated to it and make it happen.

Keep in mind that it is a work-in-progress, and it isn't perfect yet. But, I wanted to share it with you.

You'll see that the site is very simple, but I actually really like it. I feel that it works for me--where I currently am in my life and career.

To see it, click here.

I'm a Knitting Maniac!

2010-09-01T16:30:00.001-07:00

Ok. So, not yet, but I will be. I found this amazing site that has TONS of free knitting patterns online. Since I'm still a beginner, I just assumed that I could pretty much just make scarfs and baby blocks. I was wrong. After looking through some of the free patterns, I feel inspired and eager to knit many cool things. Here are just some of the items I want to knit:

Basketweave Baby Blanket

Dishcloths

Hula Hand Puppet

Braided Headband

Sport Band

Rustic Block Afghan

Placemats

Fun headband

And the great thing about all these patterns is that they are all for beginners! Easy peasy. Wish me luck!

A Tragedy

2010-08-30T09:25:00.002-07:00

Yesterday, an LDS (Mormon) Bishop was murdered while at church. He was a father of six children--the youngest just a few months old. I didn't know him nor his family personally, but I still think it is important for people to help if they can.

Someone has set up a donation center of Pledgie. Their goal is $20,000. They have about six grand to go until they hit their goal. Even if you can only give one dollar, every dollar makes a difference for his family. If you can't give a dollar, that's ok too. Just keep his family in your thoughts and prayers.

You can donate by clicking on the above button.

Finger Cramps and Knitting

2010-08-28T19:54:00.003-07:00

Today, I finished my beginning knitting class. After the class, I went to Joann's and got a few supplies--2 skeins of yarn, 3 different sized knitting needles, and a knitting book with cute designs and patterns.

I returned home and knit my little fingers right off my hand. I didn't realize how long I was marathon-knitting. I just wanted to finish something else. It is such a great feeling to complete a project. I knit for about 5 hours straight tonight. And guess what? I finished a little scarf for my 6 year old sister. Her birthday is in early December, and I'll just keep this bad boy until then. :)

While it's obviously not perfect, and is full of beginner's mistakes, I like how it turned out. Mainly, I love that it reminds me of Trix cereal. But I think a six year old girl will love all the bright, fun colors.

My First Knitting Project...Finished!

2010-08-24T19:25:00.004-07:00

Ok. I just finished my first knitting project. I made a knit baby block, filled with batting--and with a little bell inside.

There are ton of mistakes, but as my husband lovingly tells me: "It's ok! It is your first one!"

And he made me promise that he would get to keep the first thing I ever made. So guess what he is using as a pillow while watching television right this second. That bell can't be comfortable. But, if he is enjoying it, I'm glad.

I think next I'll make my hubby a scarf. :)

Pet Peeve #2

2010-08-24T17:10:00.000-07:00

*When you try to retain contact with a friend and they refuse to make an effort, and you're left doing all the work.

Pet Peeve #1

2010-08-24T16:17:00.000-07:00

*When friends or family only call you when they want something.

My Very Sad Cooking Attempts

2010-08-15T18:55:00.005-07:00

I'm trying to improve my baking and cooking skills. It's all very sad, really. I suck. No, seriously. And I have the best husband. He will taste-test everything I ask him to, and he encourages me by saying, "Don't worry, honey. You're just practicing. This way, you'll have it perfect by Christmas." What a sweet, sweet boy.

Here are some pictures of my attempts. I hope I can improve soon.

I tried making pigs in a blanket, but they didn't turn out perfectly. Next time, I slice the halfed-hotdogs longways, too, because it was just too much hotdog.

I was really excited about these, and they didn't turn out great. I didn't have chocolate chips--only butterscotch. So, that's what I used. I also had a hard time getting the amount of sprinkles right. I'll get there--I hope.

Thrifty, Thrifty

2010-08-08T19:46:00.005-07:00

In attempt to be creative, crafty, and thrifty, I went to a thrift store to see if I could find some goods for the homestead. Here's what I bought:

Gorgeous ruby red charger plates, almost like the kind my mom uses for holidays. Love them!

A few baskets I use to put extra rolls of toilet paper, deep turquoise, glass candleholders, a light teal vase, and a wooden bowl I use for a bread-holdin' bowl on my counter. Love it!

I hope I can find some other great things soon!

Does 2 Months Make Me an Expert?

2010-08-05T17:29:00.001-07:00

I would say yes, yes, it does.

Today is my two month wedding anniversary.

I thought I couldn't possibly love him anymore than I did. But, it's not true. I love him even more--each day that passes.

So much so that I have recurring nightmares about losing him, or him leaving.

Last night, for instance, I had a dream about Jose having to fight some magical dude--who had a tiny switchblade. And I had to sit there in the audience and watch. I can't remember all the dramatic details, but he had to flee and go into hiding. I was left alone, at our house, listening to music that reminded me of him. I woke up. I balled. He woke up. He was very confused.

I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm crazy. And he would think I was even more crazy if I actually told him about the dream. All I told him was "you had to leave me. And I was alone. And that made me upset". I think I'll leave those details out--about the magician and the switchblade.

Poor husband of mine.

Quasi-Grandma Transformation 40% Complete

2010-08-05T17:20:00.000-07:00

Ask my husband or my sisters. They will tell you. I'm a grandma--at the ripe old age of 24.

I drive the speed limit--always. Heck, sometimes Jose has to remind me that the speed limit is ten mph higher than what I'm driving. I'm trying to be safe; so sue me!

I can pretty much sleep anywhere, anytime. I usually fall asleep on the couch around 9. Last night? 8. And after my husband woke me up at 10:15 to move to the bed, I was out until I got up for work. I LOVE TO SLEEP.

I already cross-stitch. But, my coworker and I are going to start going to a beginner's knitting class on Saturdays--for the entire month of August. I'm actually REALLY excited. Heaven only knows how much knitted wear we need here in Mesa, Arizona. I'm just doing my part.

Some People Make Me Sick...

2010-07-17T12:33:00.006-07:00

...in a good way.

I found this blog from my friend's blog, and was instantly amazed. While I was not surprised to see my friend, Jana, link to "A Pretty Cool Life" blog--because Jana is super creative as well--I instantly started feeling sick. Not the kind of throw-up sick, or the I-need-to-lay-down kind of sick either. More of the how-can-one-person-have-so-much-talent-while-I-can't-even-compare type of sick.

I mean, seriously, just peruse some of her blog. Here are just a few things that I am envying:

I swear I'll be more creative. I can do it, right?

Does It Mean I'm a Fat Kid If...

2010-07-16T16:45:00.000-07:00

I don't realize how quickly I'm eating something delicious, and I go to reach for more and the plate is empty--and then I am very disappointed?

Affirmative.

One Year Anniversary

2010-07-11T16:10:00.007-07:00

Yesterday was my one year anniversary since I had moved to Arizona. It went by so fast. But still, it kind of feels like I've been here for years.

I came to Arizona.

I made friends. I found a job relating to my career. I had fun. I suntanned.

I bought a condo.
I met a boy.

I fell in love and married him.

I love Arizona.

The Ending!?

2010-07-10T07:11:00.002-07:00

I love it that Jose let me watch a Dateline murder mystery--a type of show in which he isn't interested--and he watched the ending when I fell asleep because he knew I would want to know what happened. When I awoke, he detailed everything for me. Now that's dedication to our relationship.

Sigh Libraries

2010-07-06T17:35:00.002-07:00

I have an addiction to libraries. I love them. I can't get enough of them. And frankly, Utah has the most gorgeous libraries--of the places I have lived. Hands down.

I miss this:

(Provo Library)

And this:

(Orem Library). The stained glass window is beautiful.

And as much as I LOVE living in Arizona, the libraries are sad and depressing. If I could transport Utah's libraries to Mesa, I'd be one happy girl.

Bottom line: Nothing beats being surrounded by books in a beautiful building. And that goes for bookstores, too. Oh, how I love thee!

I'm a Married Woman

2010-07-05T15:42:00.005-07:00

Marriage. I did it. :)

Today it has been exactly one month since I was married to a very lovely man. The temple wedding was beautiful and the reception was charming. But still, I am so glad it is over and I can get back to a routine.

I love this boy.

Love Is...

2010-05-27T17:04:00.000-07:00

...having your guy put Vick's Vaporub on his finger, and then putting that finger straight up your nostrils when you have the flu--even though we both didn't even think about using q-tips...or my own finger.

...when your guy tells you that you're gorgeous when you've been sick with the flu all weekend, haven't worn makeup in four days, wearing grungy gym clothes, and your hair is the frizzled mess of a dangerous lunatic set loose on the town.

...watching "The Bachelorette" without complaining. AND listening and responding to my inane, seemingly-participatory comments.

...not just going swimming with me every Saturday, but laying out afterward in order to receive a delicious golden tan--even though he's not a fan.

...throwing zebra cakes into the shopping cart when I slightly pause and glance at them as I pass through the "dangerous aisle".

...9 DAYS!

It's Hard To Remember When...

2010-05-18T17:47:00.000-07:00

...I could just do this:

for fun. I miss it. Now my time is spent planning a wedding, homework, editing, and cleaning my condo.

One day--soon, I hope--I will be able to give the attention my books deserve.

26 Days...

2010-05-10T16:42:00.001-07:00

until I get to marry this man.

He is:

my love

my eternal tennis partner

my constant wedding date

my forever movie buddy

my best friend.

He is the man who buys me flowers every month. He is the man who gives me a hard time about the number of shoes I own, but not-so-secretly loves it when I wear them. He is the man who cracks my back every single day, even when he thinks I'll fall apart from all my popping and tweaking. He is the man who cleans my kitchen after I cook him dinner. He is the man who pretends to be just as excited as I am about a cute, sassy outfit, Disney movies, swimming and tanning, and cute shoes. He is the man who thinks it's hilarious when I am awoken after falling asleep during a movie because I am one of three things: angry and feisty, sad and about to cry because he has to go home, or silly and everything makes me laugh like a crazy hobo. He is the man who orders black olives on our pizza because I like them--even though he picks every single one off before he eats. He is the man who will rub my stomach after my medication has left me sick and nauseated.

I choose him. And I'll re-choose him every single day.

Squeaky, Squeaky.

2010-04-30T16:48:00.000-07:00

The other day I filed down my caveman-like, rough, summer-time feet. I know; Yum, right? And today my favorite pair of flip flops--well, just the right flip flop--was squeaking like an overexcited chipmunk. As I walked down the long hall at work, I tried desperately to angle my foot new ways so that the squeaking would stop. I tried walking on my tip-toes. Fail. I tried taking quicker steps. That just produced even more annoying baby squeaks. It almost made my ears bleed. So, brilliant me decided that it would probably work best if I took a really slow, long step and twisted my foot at the last moment. I just happened to do this right by my coworker's open office. Let's just sum this up by saying it sounded like I had about five and a half bean burritos for lunch. Classy.

Supreme Bike-Riding Skills

2010-04-27T16:30:00.001-07:00

After a first date, do you ever go back through every little detail and wish you said something different, or acted in a different way? I over-analyze everything. I will replay moments in my mind for months, frustrating myself because of stupid comments or actions. Let me play out one tiny moment during one of my first dates:

I really liked this boy. He was cute, funny, and laid-back. He was charming and kind. And he was athletic. Hubba, hubba! For our first date, we went to Red Robin for dinner and then had a quaint bike ride. Wait, quaint might not be the right word. It was nighttime. It was in the bike lane of a very busy street--by the freeway entrance. It was with a cute boy that made me nervous because of his cuteness. It was me freaking out because I hadn't ridden a bike since I was 10.

On our way back home, I rode on the sidewalk while Boy rode in the bike lane. Because we were talking while riding, we were riding a little slower--which makes it harder to control the bike, I've learned. As we talked, I noticed that my front wheel would get closer and closer to the edge of the curb. Let's take a brief pause. A normal person would simply continue to pedal and steer away from the curb. I, apparently, am not normal.

The bike got closer and closer to the edge. I panicked. I stopped pedaling. I stopped steering. I began apologizing before I even started to fall. I repeated, "Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh." about twenty times. Then, I switched to "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" for an additional twenty times. I knew exactly what would happen, but my body wouldn't respond. I tipped right over on top of my date.

He casually put his foot on the ground and balanced the two of us. After a few seconds, he gently tipped my bike right up again, since my feet still hadn't touched the ground. Somehow, both of my shoes came off, as well. So, I nonchalantly slipped my shoes back on, and took a deep breath. He asked if I was ok. Sure, I was ok. Just my pride was obliterated with one stupid childhood skill that everyone picks up! I mean, come on! Bike-riding is the basic of the basics. It's right up there with being able to wipe yourself after using the bathroom.

Needless to say, I was humiliated. He didn't call me for three weeks. I knew that it was because of the bike incident. Turns out, he did try to call me...and text me. My phone was just being lame. I had to get a new SIM card recently because I wasn't receiving calls or texts. He apparently found it endearing that I lack rudimentary skills.

Yadda, Yadda, Yadda: We're engaged. We are getting married on June 5th of this year. So, ladies, if you need some help in the love department, fall off your bike. Just try not to face plant it into the asphalt.

Good luck!

I Just Can't Help Myself...

2010-03-03T18:00:00.003-07:00

I LOVE--nay, LURVE--swimsuits. And I guess that's perfect since I live in Arizona--the land of eternal summer (which I love!). I've been waiting--rather impatiently--for the new swimwear lines to come out this month. FINALLY!

It is especially difficult for me to buy a modest, cute swimsuit because of my torso length. Seriously. You may not believe me, but here is a little way to better understand. Measure the distance from your sternum to your belly button with your hand. I've found that most people are one, maybe one and a half, hand length from sternum to belly button. Mine is a full two hands until I reach my belly button. This proves difficult for buying tankinis. And impossible for buying a one-piece. A few weeks ago, I went and tried on this adorable skirted one-piece swimsuit. I must have forgot that they never work for me. But I loved it so much, I had to see if I could buy it. I put it on and the chest part of the suit reached the ribs of my upper stomach. Not so cute. Anyway, moving along...

All the swimsuits that are specifically made for us long-torso people are gross and hideous. So hideous that I'd rather swim in basketball shorts and a hoodie. So, I finally found some websites that make LONG tankinis. Hello, perfect. I bought two tops. And they're adorable. And they look really long. SCORE! Here's what I bought from the ever-amazing Lime Ricki Store!

And they have tons more that I'm in love with, but I had to narrow it down and restrain myself a little. But if you use the coupon code: Jenswim, you get 10% off. Seriously. I'm going to be one happy girl this summer. Bring it on!

Slow Me Down

2010-02-27T14:09:00.003-07:00

This song perfectly describes how I feel most of the time:

The lyrics are so beautiful that I couldn't resist using some of them for my blog redesign.

Puppies!

2010-02-26T17:30:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a dream that I was in a huge field filled with cute little puppies. I woke up smiling like a goomba.

I need me some puppy time!

The Accidental Pervert

2010-02-19T16:30:00.000-07:00

I had recently come across a fantastic opportunity. An adult Irish Dance studio only a few miles away. When I discovered this, I was ecstatic. I was invited to come watch the class last Wednesday. I was supposed to get there a few minutes early, walk into the building in the back, and talk with Jill at the front desk.

I got to the studio about ten minutes early. Perfect. I drove around to the back entrance, as I was instructed. No front desk. The door led right into an already in-progress dance class of young teenage girls. Not wanting to walk into a class to ask my stupid question about the front desk, I drove around maybe three more times. I was looking for a door that I missed or just didn't notice. I thought it had to be around there somewhere.

After the third go-around, I decided to stop and park right outside the class--that way, I could get a good look at when the class of adults would start dancing. I just wanted to see their skill level and if I was interested in joining that class.

Because I felt kind of weird sitting out there, I pulled out my cell phone and acted like I was busy talking. I wasn't. Sometimes I have a bit of social anxiety and I can't bring myself to walk into a room with lots of strangers. That was one of those times. So, I sat there--waiting. I noticed that a few of the teenage girls noticed my car and looked curious. Eventually, they turned me into the teacher. She came out to the sidewalk, stared at my car with her hands on her hips. Instead of being normal and rolling down my window to ask her about the adult class that I was trying to find, I sped off...out of the parking lot and around the corner.

I'm not sure why I did this; I wasn't doing anything wrong or perverted. But now, I'm sure they turned my license plate number into the police for some sicko watching young girls dancing their lives away.

Dead Body Oranges

2010-01-30T10:26:00.003-07:00

If you know me, even a little bit, you know that I'm a little paranoid and neurotic. Neurotic, not erotic, mind you. Just didn't want you to get that confused. And in case you aren't sure what "neurotic" means, here is a dictionary definition: "A person prone to excessive anxiety and emotional upset."

Last week, my two friends kidnapped me. Yes! Kidnapped me. One friend was teaching the other friend how to drive a stick shift. They made me go. And even tried to coax me into learning as well. Yeah, no thanks on that one. I'm already a nervous driver as it is. I don't need to add more things for me to think about while driving.

For a while we stayed in the church parking lot in order to practice. Eventually, my friend's bravery increased and decided to take it on the street. Then, the local graveyard. Counting this trip, I've ever only been in a graveyard four times. The first time was late at night, during a thunderstorm, after watching a scary movie. Eek.

As we're driving around the graveyard, I am greatly disturbed by the many orange trees surrounding the graves. Oranges were on top of the graves, next to the gravestones, and so on. I mentioned that I found that strange and creepy, and my friend asked if I wanted her to stop so I could go get one. Wait!? What?! Umm. I declined because those are dead body oranges! Naturally, they weren't following my train of thought. So, I explained.

The oranges grow from the tree. The tree has roots in the ground. The roots need nutrients from the soil. The soil has coffins in it. The coffins contain dead bodies. The dead body toxins have leaked out into the soil. And therefore, the oranges are filled with dead body toxins! It's perfectly logical! They're DEAD BODY ORANGES!

My friends, of course, thought and still think I'm crazy. One of which still taunts me with the thought of her bringing me a big bag of death-toxin-laden oranges. It looks like I'll never be able to trust her if she brings me an orange. Oranges from Tessa are officially off my diet, thank you very much.

THIS:
PLUS THIS:

EQUALS THIS:

A truer equation has never been demonstrated.

My Heritage, Yo.

2010-01-29T16:00:00.000-07:00

I LOVE LOVE LOVE being an Irish-Italian American. I also love the fact that I was born in Italy. Now, in order to complete the trifecta, I need to learn to speak Italian fluently. I started to teach myself a while ago, but I stopped. I felt that I was losing my French by using the time I normally study my French to learn Italian. I suppose it is all about balance. I need to make time to do the things I want to do.

My mom called me last night telling me about the preview she saw for "Letters to Juliet". She was very excited to tell me that Verona--where the movie is based--is only a few minutes down the road from where I was born--Vicenza. Since I don't remember what Italy, specifically Vicenza, was like, she wanted to let me know that Verona is a lot like Vicenza. And now I'm even more excited to see that movie. I love my Italian peeps. :)

On the other side of the heritage spectrum is my Irish side. To give fair time to both sides, I am going to see "Riverdance" in a few days. I am ecstatic! They're my peeps, too!

And of course, I love being an American. I think we live in a beautiful country with amazing opportunities. Thank you to all the service men and women for your sacrifice, dedication, and love for our country.

Hobo-esque

2010-01-22T16:50:00.000-07:00

You can generally tell how I'm feeling by what I'm wearing.

Today I wore this gray top:

underneath this:

And still, underneath a similar corduroy jacket:

On the bottom half I wore jeans and tennis shoes. My hair is up in the usual fluffy ponytail, and I'm wearing large stud earrings.

Notice the lack of bright colors. How do you think I felt today with this hobo-inspired ensemble?

Teeth In My Purse!

2010-01-18T21:27:00.003-07:00

Yeah, as of right now, there are two teeth--fused together--in my purse. A few weeks ago, I had another tooth in my purse.

Technically they aren't real teeth. They aren't even full teeth. They are temporary crowns that rebel against dental cement. It's tough when the dental cement only holds for an average of one week and the dentist has to wait three weeks to get the permanents. What's a girl to do?

Poligrip. Denture adhesive.

I bought some today. And yes, Poligrip is normally for these people:

Not for a 24 year old. I have a reputation to protect. I can't be seen in the Poligrip and Depends aisle. If I have to wear an adult diaper any time soon, somebody is going to get hurt.

My future:

It's official. My life really is a cosmic joke.

The Craptastic Trifecta

2009-12-11T19:06:00.005-07:00

There are certain companies and businesses that are the low of the low. The bottom of the barrel, if you will. They are the armpit of society and the trashcan of human decency. While I am sure there are hundreds, nay, thousands of craptastic companies, I am going to focus my post on three. Let's get started, shall we?

T-Mobile: I had always been happy with my choice in T-mobile...until I had an issue with being harassed, that is. I consider them a fair-weather phone company. They want nothing to do with problems, complaints, or suggestions for improvement (usually involving expletives or the middle finger...not by me, of course).

After the first few times of being harassed, I called T-Mobile to see what they could do about it. Their answer was I could either file a police report or change my number. They wouldn't do anything, even with me being a "valued customer"--as they so liberally say. I filed a police report. The cop said T-Mobile is the worst company to work with because they refuse to give out any information--even if someone calls 911 and hangs up. They just won't give out any information because they are "protecting" their customers' privacy. But, it just so happens, that while they protect the creeps, the innocents get woken up in the middle of the night to dirty phone calls.

The second type of harassing was through text message. I even had the number, and it was a fellow T-Mobile customer (Just call me Detective Dawson). I called them and they said the same as before: either change my number or file a police report. I filed another report.

On both counts, T-mobile completely refused to help. So, I decided that once my contract was up, I was switching phone providers. I even wrote a long email detailing my disgust with how they handle these situations. And, of course, they didn't put it in the notes on my account--as I just found out. The lady I talked to today (to tell her that I didn't want to renew nor have my account go to month-to-month) didn't know why I was changing companies. I gave her the low-down...out of the kindness of my heart. She was a complete tool. We went round and round because she didn't understand what I was saying.

Needless to say, don't use T-Mobile if you can avoid it. They are absolutely repugnant.

Gold's Gym: Overall, they are the most dishonest company I've ever used...for anything. They continued to charge me each month, even though my contract had ended, and I wrote an email eight months prior that I didn't want to continue once my contract was up. They conveniently had no record of that correspondence. So, I had to pay a few extra months worth of gym membership fees before I annoyed them into submission (emails, phone calls, phone messages, letters, and a negative BBB report). Plus, I closed my bank account they were drafting from. Looks like they wouldn't have gotten any more money from me anyway. :)

24 Hour Fitness is SO much better. If you have the chance, use them instead.

Best Dental: I suppose this only applies if you live in Mesa, Arizona since it is a local practice. Not only is their equipment completely archaic, but they have no finesse or gentleness. They rough your mouth up while you have to look at their dumpy walls. After my first examination, they said I needed 2 root canals plus tons of other work. I decided to get a second opinion. When I requested my x-rays to take with me, they conveniently forgot to tell me on the phone that they have to charge me for duplicates. Whatever. I paid. Then I go to the new dentist. They tell me Best Dental didn't give me a full set of x-rays. They only gave me about half. I called Best Dental and asked them about it. They were no help at all. So, the passive aggressive person that I am, I wrote a few negative reviews on dentist review sites.

Heed my sage advice. Avoid these three companies at all costs.

Um...Yes, Please!

2009-11-12T22:02:00.004-07:00

Within the last few months, I've discovered a brilliant, new musical artist. Not only is he talented, but he is dang good lookin'.

Ernie Halter.

Usually, when artists do covers, I am not impressed. But I am head over heels for this one. :) I put it on repeat for days. Yes, DAYS!

Not even sure if I want children, but I would totally have his babies. Don't judge.

If you're not into that song, try this one:

Or this one:

Or perhaps this one? Just listen to the song. I don't know about that video. :)

Today I Wore...

2009-10-28T19:58:00.003-07:00

And...

Which I paired with...And...

And I loved it!

Reminds me of:

Doctor From The Depths Of A Well

2009-10-26T18:51:00.007-07:00

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity, nay, the pleasure of going to the lady doctor. *Warning* If you are grossed out or offended with the mere thought of something along the lines of a pap smear, stop reading. Consider yourself warned.

Some background information is essential here. In June of July of this year, I was diagnosed with P.C.O.S. (polycystic ovarian syndrome). As a result, my hormones are naturally off-kilter. When I was originally diagnosed, I was put on some medication--three, actually. One of which had to be coupled with anti-nausea medicine. I took it for a few weeks, and stopped. One reason was because I was quitting my job, moving here to beautiful Arizona, and I wasn't going to have insurance any longer. And heaven knows, I'm cheap. Oh, and not to mention, the medication made me constantly angry, paranoid, moody, and anxiety-ridden. Not a whole lot of fun--especially for those that were forced to interact with me.

Once I moved to Arizona, my body was acting up again because I stopped taking my medication to regulate my hormones. Once my new insurance kicked in, I made an appointment to see a new doctor. Being the shortcut-taker I am, I picked the closest doctor--instead of looking more into the type of doctor they are and so on. As I'm driving down the street--exactly where Audrey (my GPS) is telling me to go--I am shocked at what a ghetto neighborhood I am driving through. This couldn't be right! Ah, cosmic-joke-lovin'-universe, it was exactly right. There, next to dilapidated buildings and construction zones, nestled not-so-quietly in the back, was the unsanitary clinic that I picked.

First impression consisted of feeling like a cow in a herd (resist any fat jokes, if you will). People EVERYWHERE! I finally made it through the "check-in line" and had to sit next to a woman whose right foot was wrapped in bloody, seeping gauze. I couldn't take it anymore. My escape plan? The bathroom. The restroom had to be clean and sanitary, right? I mean, it WAS a health center, for heaven's sake! WRONG-O. It was the equivalent to a truck stop. Wait. Scratch that. I'd rather lick the floor of the men's room of a truck stop than ever use that nasty little, bug-encrusted, poor excuse for a modern toilet.

Finally, after a 45 minute wait past my original appointment time, my name was called. I was then handed a cup and wet-wipe as the nurse pointed to the bathroom. And, Universe, you strike again. Hardy, har, har. I went to the bathroom TWICE before my appointment. So, I made the attempt and failed. Ah well. Not my problem. It's the nurse's problem now. :)

I finally was left in the room, feeling so pretty in my paper dress, sitting in a dirty exam room. Another 20 minutes later, and the doctor finally decided to bless me with her presence.

"Oh, you look so pretty today!" was the first thing out of her mouth. As opposed to the other times she has never seen me? And, yes, I felt ever so lovely, chaffing in a see-through large napkin covering my parts.

As she was reviewing my medical history, she starts speaking to me in Spanish. The only thing I understood was "Mexico". Keep in mind that the nurse is from the Philippines. It isn't like Spanish is her first language. I was completely blown away. I didn't know how to respond because I had no idea what she said. I'm sure she saw my look of confusion, and switched back to English. Here's how it went down:

Dr: "Mija, you have your shots in Mexico before you come to states, yes?"

Me: "What?"

Dr: "Your shots? You get them back home in Mexico?"

Me: "Mexico?"

Dr: "Si, Mija."

Me: "Uh, I am from here"

Dr: "You from the states?"

Me: "uh....yes."

***For those who don't know me well, I am Irish-Italian, with blue eyes and freckles.

And she proceeded to question me based off my information:

Dr: "Mija! You no sex?"

Me: "No"

Dr: "Mija! You no boyfriend?"

Me: "No"

Dr: "You NO sex?!?"

Me: "..."

This whole time, I am still sitting on the edge of the table in my paper dress. She begins to ask me about the medication my previous doctor prescribed me. I told her I brought it with me, but it was in my purse. She looked at me like she was expecting me to jump right off that table, bend over to reach my purse, and then hobble back towards her and the table. That would be a big no thank you. After a rather long staring contest, she finally said that I could just get it after the exam. Yeah. Thanks, Doc.

Throughout the course of the exam, she told me twice that I was "big girl". Wonderful. That is what every girl wants to hear when she is getting a pap smear. As she continued her exam, she said,

Dr: "Mija, you no boyfriend? You so pretty, Mija."

Me: "Nope. I'm not dating anyone right now."

Dr: "Mija, you young. You no boyfriend?"

Me: "Nope. But, in my religion we believe in waiting to have sex until marriage."

Dr: "Sex? Who say anything about sex? I just say boyfriend. Not sex. We catholics believe that too, but girls don't follow it. Is good. Is good, Mija."

Finally, the exam is over. She tells me I can get dressed, but she doesn't leave the room. She simply turns around and works on the paper work. Hello, Awkwardness. I am dressed and she begins to look at my medication. I told her my doses and she said, "Such small dose for big girl". At this point, I almost Chuck Norrised her. Granted, the doctor was not even five feet tall and probably about 80 pounds. Anyone to her would be big--especially because I am 5'9.

Let's just say I'll never go back there again.

Dear Paper Toilet Seat Cover,

2009-10-01T19:38:00.003-07:00

First off, I am very appreciative of your services. You give a germophobe a little peace of mind when said germophobe is forced to use a public restroom. While I hear the Psycho shower-scene theme music every time I use my tootsie to push open the door (afraid of what I may find inside because we all know that adults disregard cleanliness values I hold so dear whenever they aren't using their own bathroom. I mean, really? How hard is it to NOT explode inside of a stall? But, I digress), you are like a breath of fresh air. Not that I try to breath in a public bathroom, but you get the general idea.

That being said, I am not exactly tickled with your tomfoolery. You have such an important job and yet, you like to frustrate your biggest fan. Why is it that you fall right into the unhygienic toilet water right as I am about to sit down--in that small range of motion that is impossible to get back up; the only way is down and my choice to hover is no longer mine to make? The bare contact alone nauseates me. I'm on to your joke, and it isn't funny. Have you ever seen me do anything other than roll my eyes and grit my teeth in frustration? No? Exactly. 'Nuff said.

In the future, please be so kind as to do your job as it was intended. I won't accept anything less than 100% from you. I believe in you.

Warm Regards,

Charlene

The Never-Ending Saga of Pool Boy

2009-09-12T14:58:00.003-07:00

As much as Pool Boy annoys me, I just HAVE to swim on Saturdays. I can get a tad grumpy when I miss out. Unfortunately, the back pool (far away from Pool Boy) was closed. And, of course, the only pool open was the one with a front row view to Pool Boy's door.

There was no way I was going to miss out on swimming--especially with the pool so pristine and blue. I was out there for about 45 minutes when I happened to look up and see Pool Boy watching me from his window, not even trying to hide. My heart dropped. But, he didn't come out. I can only assume it was because there were other people at the pool.

Eventually, he got the nerve to come into the pool area to try and talk to me. It is just as annoying when boys try to talk to you while you are working out and feeling completely gross. Side note: If a girl has headphones on and she is working out, don't talk to her. Smile and keep walking. If she wants to talk to you, she'll take out her earphone.

But, back on subject. Here is how the little conversation went down:

PB: How's your writing coming along?

Me: Fine. How is yours?

PB: Good.

Me: Yep. *awkward silence while he stares at me*

PB: You always ignore me when you're in the pool.

Me: How am I ignoring you? I answer every question you ask me. How is that ignoring? (Obviously, I'm getting a little annoyed with the dude)

PB: You're right.

*trying desperately to wish him away*

PB: What did you eat today?

Me: Excuse me?

PB: What did you eat today?

Me: What does it matter what I ate?

PB: Just wondering.

Me: What did you eat? *feeling guilty for being kind of rude*

PB: Nothing. You want to go eat something.

Me: No, thanks. I ate before I came to the pool.

PB: Every time I come out here, you turn me down.

Me: And yet you still ask.

PB: Never give up.

Me: You'll never give up?

PB: I never give up.

Me: Maybe you should. Think of it as a change of a goal and perspective. Focus on something else instead.

*Pool Boy just laughs*

I get out of the pool and lie on the pool chair, working on my tan. And I'm pretty sure that creeper was taking pictures of me with his phone. I just hope he wasn't zooming in on my feet. Gag.

And yes, he is as creepy as this dude:

It makes me want to die inside.

Eek, Eek, and More Eeks.

2009-09-04T19:53:00.002-07:00

A few posts ago, I listed all the things creepy Pool Boy said to me. One of those things, as you may recall, was about his disturbing foot fetish. And even more disturbing is that he liked MY feet. Eeek.

Today, I was taking a quick gander at my Google Analytics for my two blogs. And, what did I discover? Someone came across my blog from searching with the term "foot fetish legal in Arizona". Double Eeek.

Either Pool Boy is doing an online search...or this state is loaded with freaky foot fetish fellas (and yes, be very jealous of my amazing alliteration skills).

Triple Eeek.

Self-Diagnosed Social Anxiety

2009-07-30T19:37:00.002-07:00

For me, social anxiety is nothing new. I always just assumed it was because of my personality, but now I don't completely think it is the case. I am writing this post because I am going through another wave of anxiety, and I don't feel like there is anyone available that I can talk to right now. I guess I should clarify. I have to talk to someone online because I get too emotional on the phone, and I'd rather not let people hear me crying. So, I figure a blog is a good outlet.

First, here is what happened tonight. I've made a few friends here in Mesa. They are great, wonderful, and completely welcoming. Because I accepted a job (which I started on Monday), my new friend wanted to celebrate tonight. I was all for it because I am completely comfortable with her. And if she is there, I felt I could use her as a buffer if I started to feel uncomfortable with the other people.

She texted me and asked if I wanted to play volleyball tonight with her friends. Of course, I did, deep down. I mean...I still do. I turned it down right away and told her we can reschedule so that she can play volleyball with her boyfriend, sister, and friends. And then I burst into tears. I know it seems ridiculous and idiotic, but I feel like I don't have control over it. There are some people in the group that actually terrify me. It isn't because they are cruel, just because she has a pretty blunt personality and is really competitive with sports. I started to panic as I pictured being on her team and her getting mad at me for not being good enough at volleyball. I also remembered the second to last time I played volleyball in college. It was one of the most humiliating nights; I was the butt of the joke. And to make it worse, it was the butt of the boys' joke.

I really do want to go, but can't bring myself. I even thought I could just go and watch. But, I know that they would try to convince me to play. I would play. I would probably humiliate myself, right? So that's my basic thought process. I really do want to be social. I even cleaned my apartment today thinking that maybe my new friend would want to come over and hang out. I wanted to be ready.

In the 50 minutes since I turned down the volleyball offer, I did a little more research into social anxiety. It mentioned how those with social anxiety can't eat in front of other people. I always thought that, for me, it stemmed from always thinking I was obese growing up. I thought people would think I was even more fat if they saw me eating. Maybe it is a mixture of both. On Sunday, I was hanging out with my new friends. We ate dinner at about 5ish. I had a tiny bit to eat, while I made sure they weren't watching. Then 10ish rolled around and everyone, including myself, is hungry again. They all get somethin to eat, and I refuse everything they offer me. I was hungry. No, I felt like I was starving. I was having stomach pangs and was feeling sick. But I still couldn't even eat one grape.

Even in work environments, I will wait until I can't take it anymore before I eat...usually. Also, the three years I went to EFY (Especially for Youth) at BYU, I lost weight (even though I was rail thin at the time). It was because the only spots left always were by the line to get the food. Naturally, people look at what you have so they can decide what they want. Because they were all watching, I hardly ate. I even lost my appetite for a few days.

I also found that most people with social anxiety fall into a three step cycle.

1. Silence: I generally won't speak unless spoken to because I assume anything I say wouldn't be interesting. In this step, the person would just avoid social interaction and likes to be alone. That is me on the head.

2. Risk: The next step is to force yourself into the awkward social situation. You want to go. And, you want to get over your fear.

3. Failure: Because you don't get a positive reaction, you go back to step 1. I have found this happen to me many times--especially when I first came home to California after I graduated college. Every time I went out with a large group or went to someone's house for a party, I ended up at home, in tears and in a panic. Again, it sounds ridiculous, but I can't seem to get a grasp on it.

At this point, I am not really sure what the next step should be. Should I force myself to go to these situations and risk an even bigger breakdown--and potentially a public breakdown. Or, do I just stay home and try to get over it myself and go back out with groups when I feel ok again?

Thanks for listening (or reading, I suppose). I needed to let it out. :)

My Wonderful Life in Arizona

2009-07-27T11:27:00.009-07:00

I know; I know. I haven't updated anyone (Katie! :)) in quite some time. So here it is. I apologize in advance for the length of this post. I guess that is what happens when you procrastinate.

First of all, my pops is just a sweetheart. I flew him to Utah from California and made him drive the ridiculously large Penske truck all the way to Arizona...in July, and while we towed my car.

Needless to say, it took FOR-EV-ER (said in Sandlot voice). Not to mention, when we finally did make it, we had to unpack the truck in 115 degree heat. I swear I almost passed out because of complete dehydration. I am not used to having to drink that much liquid. It's insane.

After an hour and half or so, we got everything into the apartment. Oh yeah. Did I mention that I live on the second floor? My dad is a trooper. After we died that night, the next day we went to Tombstone, Arizona. We were both pretty excited about it because we are related to Wyatt Earp--directly related to his sister Dorcas. Yes, Dorcas. Poor thing.

They did a reenactment of the gunfight at the O.K. Corral. The above is Doc Holliday, and yes, I have a crush on him now. Even though he was a real person, would this still be considered a fictional man crush? Probably. Just add him to my ever-growing list.

And here is something we discovered. This is what happens to Whoppers and Gummy Bears when left in a hot car in Arizona:

And don't judge my witch hair. It happens to frizzle a tad in the heat. :)

So after all the fun with Papa Bear, I had to drop him off at the airport. That may have been one of the saddest days in recent years. It meant I was really on my own, no family nearby, no friends--just me and my new apartment. It took a few days, but here is a little video of it all put together.

And I've always said that everyone should have a stalker at least once. I take that back. I had a semi-stalker in college (Let's just say it involved an open window at 4 in the morning while I was getting ready for work), but my current stalker (we shall call him Pool Boy) is way creepier.

It all happened one hot summer day in Arizona. I was done swimming, got out of the pool, and was gathering my stuff. I noticed a large black man standing outside his apartment, which just so happens to be right next to the pool. I walked by him on my way to my apartment and he said hi and started talking to me. He asked for my number, and if you know me well, this next part isn't that big of a surprise, I gave it to him because I didn't know what else to do. I never answer my phone if I don't know the number, but I made an exception because I wanted to get out of dodge of Pool Boy.

I didn't hear anything from him, and assumed he lost interest (Yay!). That wasn't the case. He caught me again while I was swimming. I saw him come out of his apartment and my heart dropped. I acted like I couldn't hear him yelling to me because I was swimming with my head in the water. He came into the pool area and told me that he forgot to save my number and my name in my phone. So, now he doesn't know either. I was stronger the second time around and didn't give him my name nor my number. He sat out there for about an hour and a half trying to coax me into going out with him and such. But, here are most of the things he said to me:

We would make beautiful children.
I have very nice feet. He admitted to a foot fetish.
It's good that I am an early riser. That way, I can take care of our children.
He is the closest thing to heaven I'll ever know.
He wants to intern for P. Diddy in New York.
I have a nice smile.
He asked if I ever dated a black man and if I found black men attractive.
He likes tall girls.
He LOVES a well manicured foot in a strappy heel.
He apparently writes all his music about women in heels.
He would pay for my rent if I hung out with him all day.
If I do find a job it has to be between the hours of 3-7, because that's when he goes to school.
I should swim at night so he could swim with me.
I need to move to New York with him in two months because I'll hate living in Arizona. And if need be, I should break my lease.

I'm sure there are more, but I might have blocked them from my memory. Let's just say that I haven't gone swimming since. But, I plan to go today between the hours of 3-7. I really hope he is at school.

Freedom, Here I Come

2009-06-18T18:46:00.001-07:00

I know; I know. I haven't written in quite some time. I've been waiting to reveal this little tidbit of information until I informed my employer. Since, I "threw a wrench in it", I guess I can now talk freely about it.

In 21 days, I am moving to Mesa, Arizona. I am starting over, starting fresh. I'm leaving this state behind. I know some of you love it here, but I can't handle it anymore. I've sacrificed over 2 years being here. No more! Sunshine, here I come.

And finally, no roommates. I finally get to live just by myself--something I've been dreaming of since I was probably 6.

Not to mention, instead of a dining table, I will have a foosball table. No joke. I don't have room for both. :)

Open Letter #1

2009-05-06T22:45:00.002-07:00

If you've never read an open letter on a blog, you're missing out. I actually got the idea from The Open Letters Blog. I find them absolutely hilarious. So, I thought I'd write one to give it a whirl.

Open Letter To Lady Walking Down the Street While I Waited In Traffic:

Dear walking lady,

Can I make a little suggestion? Next time you have that urge to take a stroll on a sidewalk next to a busy street during rush hour, consider wearing a bra. Either that or consider wearing a long sleeved t-shirt because I am positive that your body temperature wasn't regulated properly for such attire.

Sincerely,

Charlene

Vomitotious: A Made Up Word, But A Very Real Feeling

2009-04-26T21:00:00.004-07:00

I've mentioned several times throughout my blog about my aversion to germs--especially the germs of others. But, the experience I had today could make the Governator queasy.

Today at church, a guy about my age (23) sat down besides me. I've never actually met him before, but I knew of him. He is slightly mentally handicapped, not a lot, just enough to be a tad socially awkward. Even though there was plenty of room on the other side of the bench, he squeezed between me and another girl. I immediately felt a little claustrophobic as a result of his very poofy jacket. Before I had the chance to scoot over, a very-much-in-love couple squeezed in on the other side. I was trapped. I only had to make it one hour. What could be the big deal for an hour, right? Wrong. It was a very big deal. Immediately, the young man next to me began to pick his nose...aggressively. My stomach flipped. Then in the corner of my eye I saw him eat it. Yes, that's right. He ATE it. Over and over and over and over. Almost the entire hour was spent with him snacking on his own nose goo. Needless to say, I was nauseated. I began rocking back and forth slightly trying to calm myself. Then the worst happened. He wiped his boogers on his church program. And these weren't little boogers. These were gold medal boogers. I had to resort to making my own blinders with my hand. And heaven knows I don't think I heard a single word during the meeting because I was concentrating so hard on not ralphing on the floor. I considered getting up to leave, but two things held me back. 1. I didn't want to make a scene. 2. I had to meet with someone after church, so I couldn't leave.

After his nice booger collage dried on his program, he began playing with it. I heard crispy boogers being poked, prodded, and scrapped off. He then proceeded to offer me a piece of candy. I politely declined--while thinking, That is a BIG no thank you! Since I refused, he gave it to the girl on his other side. Poor girl wasn't even a witness to the atrocities of Mr. Booger.

While this story may seem horrifying enough, I've left out the other side of this situation. The gooshy couple on my left. If you know me well, I am not a fan of PDA (public displays of affection). This includes for myself and for strangers. The entire time the boogers were being deported from his nostrils, the lovey-dovey couple were nuzzling, cuddling, and just couldn't keep their hands to themselves (in a church appropriate way, of course....kind of). And yes, this heightened my nausea.

I was forced to make a decision. Which was worse? Mr. Booger or the PDA lovebirds? Which disgusted me the most? Booger-Eater won out in the end. Let's just say, the couple pretty much had a third member of their cuddle fest because I was leaning so far over I was almost up against the male. I figured that I would rather the couple think I was a crazy perv than risk being touched by Booger Boy.

All in all, I had a very trying day.

Conspiracies, Hitmen, and Old Age

2009-04-06T17:27:00.004-07:00

What do these three things have in common, in regards to my life, you ask? The following conversation I just had with my mother this afternoon is what.

Mom: "So, tell me about this dream you had of me and Makela moving to Arizona."

Me: "Ok. Umm, I dreamed that you and Makela came with me to Arizona. You two lived in a one bedroom apartment and I had my own studio--in the same complex."

Mom: "Interesting that I had a dream about moving the night before and you had one last night."

Me: "Yeah. Maybe it's a sign."

Mom: "Well, that does make sense since Monte is now a target."

Me: "A target? A target for what?"

Mom: "Hitman."

Me: "A hitman? Excellent." (I was joking, by the way).
*long pause*
"No really, a target for what?"

Mom: A hitman. I wasn't joking."

Me: "Hitman? Why would someone want to knock him off?"

Mom: "Because of all the things he has been uncovering."

Me: "Uncovering? Oh, you mean his conspiracy theories?"

Mom: "Well, he has been uncovering a lot of things lately."

Me: "mmmhmm."

"Mom, no one is going to put a hit on your husband."

Mom: "Well, you've heard what happend to Aunt **, haven't you?"

Me: "No, Mom."

Mom: "Well, they burned down the Freedom Library and sent her and her family death threats."

Me: "Did she uncover stuff too?"

Mom: "No, it was during the communist scare back in the 60s. You know, everyone thought everyone else was a communist."

Me: "McCarthy, right. I know, Mom. But really? You think someone is going to knock off your husband? No one is going to kill your husband. Just because he is paranoid doesn't mean everyone else is, Mom."

Mom: "We'll just see what happens."

Me: "yeah..."

I shouldn't have been surprised since this came from the same woman who was convinced that Obama has set up a secret Obama youth society where kids can report their parents for not voting for him--even though I tried to explain to her that it was most likely a fake website.

Conclusion: Old age makes you crazy.

And if he really does meet up with a hitman, I will deny I ever mocked it. :)

Bolded About Me!

2009-04-02T20:49:00.003-07:00

Bold the things you've done

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a Praying Mantis (Well, it attacked me. Does that count?)
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Been to the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa at the Louvre
20. Slept on a train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Dated someone you met online
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing - (on a rock wall.)
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Tied a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a Bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Visited Italy (Well...I was born there. Does that count?)

Wow. I should really get out more. :)

A Germaphobe's Living Nightmare

2009-04-01T18:41:00.003-07:00

Let's give a quick rundown of my normal day at work. I sit two offices down from the bathroom, and one bathroom is right above my office. Joy, joy:

8:00 a.m.: Get to my dungeon...I mean, ice cube...I mean, office, open the blinds and turn on the refrigerator-sized computer (No joke. I think it might be the first computer ever invented).

8:30 a.m.: Keep my back turned towards my open door so I don't have to make eye contact with whoever is about to relieve themselves. Hear the dreaded bathroom door shut and lock. Clank goes the toilet seat. The faucet turns on to "muffle" the sound. Wait a second...that's not emptying the bowels. *hack, hack* *cough* *gag* *toilet flush*(For a few weeks, this happened about three times a day, every day).

9:00 a.m.: I hear stomping from upstairs. That's when I know there is about to be trouble. It is never a good sign when someone has to RUN down the stairs to use the restroom. Never. I see a blur past my door and the slamming of the bathroom door...or as I like to call it: the stall of death.

9:15 a.m.: *Zip. Yes, I can even hear their zipper. I think the office might be made out of styrafoam, or rice paper....Continued splashing, grunting, and general disgustingness (Thank me that I am not going into detail. And yes, it is a made-up word). *Toilet flush. *Toilet flush again. NOT a good sign.

9:20 a.m.: Hand-washing THANK HEAVEN! Door opens. *Pscchhhhhhhhh (that is my attempt at mimicking the nastiest smelling bathroom spray ever). Wait, there's more. Pssscchhhhhhhhhhh, Psssschhhhhhhhhh, Psssscchhhhhhhh. Gag reflex sets in...face crinkles in unbelief. Bathroom spray hits my nasal cavity. And my day is ruined.

10:30 a.m: Did someone let a horse into the office upstairs because one human cannot possibly hold that much urine in without exploding. Or maybe that is exactly what that person was doing. But, either way, it sounds like they are peeing right on my head...or like I am trapped in the bottom of the toilet bowl, with no way out. It goes on for about 5 minutes straight. No lie.

11:45 a.m.: I hear someone walk by my office. Oh, no! Brace yourself! I think to myself. Door shuts, fly is unzipped, toilet seat clanks, and the urine circus begins. And can I just say that I now can decifer if a female is peeing or a male is peeing, just by the echo against the bowl. And THAT was a male. Wow. The skills that I acquire...

11:48 a.m.: Toilet flushes. Door opens. My body tenses...did not wash hands! Did not wash hands! Oh, wait, he must have remembered that he forgot something. Let's just dabble a few water droplets onto our fingertips shall we? That should do the trick. Apparently, soap is overrated.

12:30 p.m.: A male opens his office door and goes into the bathroom. He does his business, and before the toilet is even done flushing, he is already back in his office. Vomitotious (And yes, another made up word). Remind me never to shake his hand.

2:30: More bathroom use of various smells, splashes, atrocities, and crimes against mankind.

And my days continue just like that...every day. One of these days, I will have a nervous breakdown from all the hours of bathroom-hearing I get to enjoy each day. At least then, I can collect workmans' compensation. They cover that, right?

Read Quoi?

2009-03-27T21:10:00.002-07:00

Today I was struck with a genius idea. Ok, so maybe it isn't genius, but at least it is an idea. I just started another blog (so I keep this one up so well :0) ). If you know me at all, you know I adore reading--and I read quite often. So, my new blog is called "Read Quoi?". Basically it will consist of my book reviews. And heck, if you had the urge to submit your own book review, go for it! I would love to see others' feedback about the books they read--whether it is positive or negative.

I haven't started it yet. But, once I do, let me know what you think! Enjoy!

First Edited Book!

2009-02-23T22:27:00.004-07:00

Good news! Some of my 2 readers may not know this, but I am a contracted editor for a publishing house. That's not the good news.

The good news is that the first book I edited has finally gone to print! That means I can start making royalties. So...buy up, MOM! The book is called "Toxin" by Paul Midden. It is an excellent social/political thriller. Really, buy it! Or you could just look at it by following the link above.

Finally, I laughed.

2009-02-21T21:58:00.005-07:00

There I was, on a Friday, having one heck of a time getting through the day when I found this jewel, this gem. It just might be the funniest thing I have ever read.

Read it here!

Ok. I realize that not everyone has the same humor as I do. So, I take only partial responsibility if you get offended. I'm sorry if you do, really.

Whenever I have a bad day in the future--which is pretty much every single day lately--I will look back at this funny letter and laugh, and hopefully relieve some stress.

:)

100 Books!

2009-02-21T17:47:00.002-07:00

The BBC believes most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here. How do your reading habits stack up?

Instructions:
1) Look at the list and put an 'x' next to those you have read.
2) Tally your total at the bottom

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
X 2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
X 3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
X 4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
X 5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
X 6 The Bible (NOT FROM COVER TO COVER)
X 7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
X 8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
X 11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
X 18 Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
X 22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
X 28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
X 29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
X 33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
X 36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
X 41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
X 42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
X 49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
X 61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
X 64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
X 65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
X 87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
X 89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
X 92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
X 98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

24/100. It looks like I have some reading to do!

Hair Dye, Ear Plugs, Swimsuits, and Christmas

2008-12-09T22:53:00.002-07:00

So, a week from tomorrow, I am getting my hair "did". It is the first time I will have done anything (color-wise) with my hair. I really want to go darker. I told my aunt about my plans to go black and she freaked out. And I totally see her point. She said that when people die their hair black, it is so stagnant and lacking any depth. It is just *blah*. So, my plan is, thanks to the advice of my lovely coworkers Jana and Katie, I am going to get black and dark red lowlites? Lolights?lo-lights? Oh, heck. I don't know. But I am pretty sure it will look amazing. :)

Next topic on my list for discussion is about ear plugs. Since college, I've always had to have ear plugs at my disposal so that I can actually get to sleep. I tend to live with loud people. That coupled with the fact that I am an incredibly light sleeper makes it excruciatingly horrific trying to fall asleep when there is any noise other than "white noise". Well, my trusty pair of ear plugs were chewed up by my roommate's dog. So obviously, there was absolutely no way I was sticking those bad boys back in my head. No thanks! And I keep forgetting to go grocery shopping (which I was planning to buy ear plugs) until I come home and am trying to go to sleep. Hmm...kind of like right now. So, here I sit, hoping my roommates will go to sleep soon so I can go to sleep. Gosh, dang it. I really need to go shopping tomorrow or I will be even more crabby than I have been lately. Sleep is one of my favorite pastimes. Second, of course, to reading. Sleep is my life blood. Without it, I am a shell. Ok. So, that was a little dramatic, but you get the picture.

Without further ado, the topic of swimsuits. That word usually brings nausea and fear into me. But I recently found some killer deals on Target's website. Go figure! Their swimsuits are on sale in the winter. So, I bought some. I bought two different sized tops because I wasn't sure what size I was anymore. And guess what?! I fit perfectly into the smaller size. A size I haven't been able to fit into for a little while. Holy Hannah! I am way excited. Not to mention the suit is styled after the 1930s swimwear, a little. And normally, I would totally find and post a picture of what it looks like (without me in it, of course!), but I am too tired. Sorry.

Christmas is almost here! It feels like it will never come. I really just want to go home, see my family, get away from the horrible weather that is bound to come any day now...actually, it is scheduled for Saturday, per the weatherman. Let me go home! Insanity, I tell you. Insanity.

Well, I can't believe it is only Tuesday. It has already been a long week. And tomorrow, my personal trainer is going to kick my trash and make me want to cry...then die. She is brutal. Sorry that this post has no pictures. Maybe my next post will.

:)

The Old Age Is A'Comin'!

2008-11-16T23:17:00.009-07:00

So, I just celebrated my 23rd birthday. And I had a great weekend. So, here is how it went down. On Friday, my co-workers decorated my desk and gave me some great little gifts. It was really sweet of them, and I really appreciated it.
I was so excited about my Edward schtuff. Seriously, how cool is that?My co-worker and friend (of course!), Jana, made a delicious German Chocolate Cake for me and brought it in to work. Chocolate always makes a day so much better.

When I got home from work, I found a package from my good friend Marie. I was laughing so hard when I opened it. Don't get me wrong; I love it!

After work, my sister, Missy, came over and we went to the Orem library to go through their used books that were for sale. I know, I know. What a way to spend a birthday weekend. But I was so excited about it. Missy told me that I could pick out as many books as I wanted and she would buy them for me. Sadly, I only found two that I wanted. But that might be because I had just bought ten a few days previous. I guess I had already picked it pretty clean.

After our jaunt at the library, we went home and made our own pizzas.

Side note. Mine is the mangled looking one. but it was soooo good. It isn't quite fair to be compared with someone who has professional pizza making skills.

After we ate our pizzas, we decided to try our hand at a Lord Of the Rings marathon. Now, you have to understand something about our family. No matter when we start our "marathons", we can never do it. Maybe it is all in the mind. But this time, I really thought we would make it through maybe the first two and some of the third. Wrong-o! I made it about 40 minutes into the first movie. Yeah, the part where Frodo gets the ring to Rivendale and I conked out. It was only 10 p.m. I am so NOT a party animal! But it was still fun.

So, the next morning, guess what time I woke up. About 6:50 a.m. The thing that drives me nuts is that during the week, I feel like I would rather die than get out of bed. But the days I can sleep in, I wake up stinkin' early!

On Saturday, my sister and I hung out, went shopping, and saw the new James Bond movie with Jana and her husband. It was a pretty good movie. It was really intense and there was a beautiful man to look at. :)

Then my sister treated me to dinner at Wingers and my aunt came to join us. I had a lot of fun.

Tonight, I had a family party at my mom's house.
My mom forgot to buy the right candles for my age, so she decided to just put them all on there for kicks and giggles.

And one of the best presents of the night is as follows:
My four year old sister Makela made this for me. It is a fan. She told me to twirl it between my fingers and I will begin to feel the cool breeze. It was the most adorable thing! She even put it inside a happy birthday gift bag. And she was very concerned that I would forget to take it with me.

Overall, it was a fun birthday weekend. And I didn't even work on my paper at all. It is going to have to wait until tomorrow after work and the gym. :)

Friends With Audrey Hepburn

2008-10-26T16:03:00.003-07:00

Ok. So, maybe we aren't friends, but a nice girl at church totally made my day today! She told me that my outfit reminded her of Audrey Hepburn. And if you know me well enough, you know that I am OBSESSED with her! She had it all. So, for anyone who cares, I was wearing a black and white checkered 50s style dress with a red belt and red flats.

I should try to dress like Audrey more often! I love that lady! And if you want to read her biography...just ask...I totally own it. :0)

My Automobile Graveyard

2008-10-25T08:22:00.004-07:00

Two years ago, I got in a car accident. It was my fault and I totaled my car. Well, on Wednesday, I was in another car accident. I had just gotten off of work and there I was, minding my own business, sitting in my car, listening to Josh Groban Christmas music. Yes, you heard me. Christmas music...in October. Sue me. And FLA-BAM! I remember feeling my sunglasses fly off my face. I instantly started giving like a little scream of panic over and over again as my hand flew to my neck because I got some nasty whiplash. We all pull over to the side (4 cars in total were involved). The man who instigated the accident said he was distracted by a women that looked like she was going to pull out into traffic without even looking. So, he was watching her to make sure he didn't hit her and forgot to look in the lane that he was in...in which we had all stopped at the light.

So, as I was sitting there on the side of the busy road still freaking out, the guy that caused the accident came to each car to make sure everyone was ok. It was then that I noticed that my cute, purple 1920s type hat (I mean, seriously adorable!) had flown off when I was hit. I had the worse case of hat hair ever! My first order of business was to find that stinkin' hat and protect my reputation. :) Well, I found it behind and under my seat. It must have flown off, hit the windshield, and flew back behind me.

After tons of calls to insurance adjusters, causers of accidents, and my papa bear...oh and wait, add embarassing breaking down to little girl sobs at work (ugh!), his insurance finally agreed to put my car in a body shop and get me a rental car. After the estimate of the amount of work that would need to be done to fix my poor little tin can (and remember that he could only give the estimate for what he could physically see that was damaged), he estimated about $6500 in damages. Let's just say, I am pretty sure that the insurance company will just decide it is a loss and my car will be retired to the automobile graveyard that I feel very accustomed to.

So what does all this mean? I will starting at square one, in terms of car purchases. I had just sent off my half way mark check. I only had two years left and the car would've been all mine. *sigh* Life just doesn't get any easier, does it.

But on a lighter note, my rental car is adorable! And, don't make fun of me, but I like to pretend that it is MY car. :0)

And, holy hannah! I forgot my Josh Groban Christmas CD in my poor little car. I hope I will be able to get it back. If not, I guess it isn't that big of a deal because the day before I had ripped it onto my computer. Thank heaven! There is some mercy after all!

This is what my poor, little car looked like before the accident (and these aren't actual pictures of my car. I am very practiced in the art of a google image search):

And here is what my rental car looks like. I am in love with it, I think:

Hello, Sleek!

My First REAL Celebrity Sighting

2008-10-18T14:16:00.002-07:00

So, there I was, minding my own business, in Provo when a little black sports car in front of me decides he wants to get in the right hand turn lane. He proceeds to move his car so that he is blocking two full lanes, like an idiot. My light turned green but I couldn't move because his dumb car was in the way. He finally gets all the way over and I look at him as I drive by. Who else could it be but... drumroll....GARY FREAKIN' COLEMAN! I am not even joking. My jaw dropped and stayed open for like ten minutes. I should have known that I would see him eventually since he lives in lowly Payson, Utah. My first real celebrity sighting other than Donny Osmond and Kirby Heyborne...if they count. His lips were even pooched like when he used to say, "Whatchu talkin' bout Willis?" Amazing. Wow. I am pretty much famous by association...or celebrity spotting abilities.

I Just Saved A Bunch Of Money...

2008-10-18T07:44:00.002-07:00

Update: I woke up this morning feeling a lot more happy and hopeful. Maybe all I needed was to get it all out and to stop incessantly dwelling upon it. Plus, I am going to hike Y mountain this morning with a good friend from home, and I am really excited about it.

So, in attempts to get my car insurance premium lower I discovered that my accident a few years ago isn't even on my driving record. But my car insurance company was charging me for it because I put it on my application. This week, I went to the DMV during lunch and requested my driving record, just to make sure. I was planning on switching insurances and not putting the accident on the new forms because it isn't on my record even though the cop showed up and everything. I did some research into different insurance companies and had a few in mind when I decided what could it hurt to just ask Progressive if they can just take that accident off my profile since it isn't on my record. I was expecting a "not on your life" answer, but to my surprise, I just received all these updated documents and my accident isn't anywhere to be seen! It actually lowered my monthly payment by a little over $20 bucks. I am pretty happy about that! :) It will be an extra 20 to buy Christmas presents this year. Ah, Christmas. Hello, warm spot in my heart!

Anyway, just thought I'd update you. And sorry about the severity feeling of my last post. I think I just REALLY needed to get all of those thoughts out.

Sigh

2008-10-17T22:31:00.005-07:00

Maybe it is just me, but life just makes me tired. And not just in the "I need to sleep more", but where it wears you out and you just want to lock yourself in your room forever. I know all my posts lately haven't exactly been on a happy note, and I am really sorry about that. But am having this huge feeling of discontentment for a little while now. Something just seems a little off...like I am so close to being my happy self, but it is just out of reach. I think it has been about three weeks now and it is completely frustrating me. I feel like such a fake person because I am trying so hard to be happy and my normal self, but it is a lot of work when you really don't feel that way. I feel that every morning starts with a sad sigh and ends the same way.

It has gotten a little worse since I think I've discovered what my life long trial is going to be (from Elder Uchtdorf's comments at the RS broadcast) and some personal epiphanies that are too personal to mention at this point, and it makes me melancholy. I find myself going about my day and therefore, my life in kind of a daze. Nothing is really connecting...just going through the motions, like a robot.

I've also fallen back into my old bad habit that I had since third grade and finally gained control of in college of constantly insulting and berating myself. The process of disliking myself has begun again and it is rolling downhill fast, I think. I don't want to be like this but it is such an easy old habit to fall back into. It feels completely natural. I can't get a handle on anything. I am confused and scared. I am a shell.

The thing that really bothers me about all of this is that I don't smile as much as I used to. It is actually difficult to smile. I am not sure what else to do than just keep going through the motions until they become legitimate again--fake myself into believing that I am happy and content.

And uh-oh. I just looked up the word "melancholy" to double check that I was using it correctly, and saw that can be caused from having bi-polar disorder. And anyone who knows me well enough knows my history with step parents with this issue and how well...or not so well...I handled it. This is scary. What if I am bi-polar? It would definitely explain my mood changes lately.

Again, I am sorry everyone for the tone of this blog lately. I just need an outlet for these confusing thoughts and emotions. Thanks for listening and I would greatly appreciate any insight you could give me about how to get out of this slump.